Columnist Sal DeFilippo: Post-mortem of catastrophe yields few answers

Sal DeFilippo

Friday, Jan. 14, 2000 | 9:27 a.m.

Sal DeFilippo's pro football picks column appears Friday. Reach him at sal@vegas.com or 259-4076.

Join me as together we try to enter the mind of any one of the 11 members of the Buffalo Bills' kickoff coverage team.

Don't be surprised by all the empty space up here. Just continue rewinding the haunting memory of what has transpired since Saturday's miraculous wild-card loss at Tennessee.

Keep going until before the fatal kickoff so we can relive the moment in unison. In fact, go all the way back to a play that began with 28 seconds to go, with Tennessee leading 15-13 and our Bills facing a huge third-and-8 situation from the Titans' 32-yard line. Believe it or not, this is where the true unraveling began.

We, collectively acting as a kickoff team specialist, can only sit on the sidelines watching the action as our quarterback drops back to throw. Hey, what's Doug Flutie doing standing next to us? Oh yeah, that was one of head coach Wade Phillips' brilliant ideas -- bench the guy that led us for the first 15 games until we safely clinched a playoff berth, then yank him for a backup. Maybe Coach ate a bad bowl of Flutie Flakes. Maybe Coach is a bum -- or maybe he's just the son of a Bum. Whatever the case, this Phillips' head isn't screwed on straight.

Anyway, that new guy, something Johnson (as a special-teams player, we don't know the offensive backups real well) throws a pass to rookie Peerless Price, who makes a terrific move to shake a tackle and dart out of bounds after getting first-down yardage to the 24-yard line. Since we have no timeouts remaining, that play may have saved the game for us, because Price would have been tackled prior to making the first down, and the clock would still be rolling. Now there are 20 seconds left and we have a fresh set of downs. Outstanding.

Hold on a minute -- what's Coach up to now? Why is he sending out the field-goal unit? Is he afraid of taking a chance at moving the ball closer? Shouldn't he at least run the ball to the center of the field to make it an easier kick, and then spike the ball with a few seconds remaining to stop the clock? Then he could send the field-goal team out there on third down, and we wouldn't have to risk a kickoff if we take the lead. The game would be over, just like that. Shouldn't he do that?

Wait, wait, wait. There we go, thinking again. Maybe our reliable kicker, Steve Christie (we know all the special-teams players), prefers to kick from the right hash-mark. And even if we have to kickoff, what could happen?

Oh man, here's the kick. What pressure. It's ... good! OK, now we lead by one point, with only 16 seconds between us and victory. Let's slap on our collective helmet and get out there.

Coach Einstein has told Christie to kick the ball downfield, but not too deep, hoping to break up any chance for a long return. No matter -- we're ready. We're going full speed at whoever picks up the ball.

Ready? Let's go. Shed a block -- good. We're right online with the ball. Hey, look, that's fullback Lorenzo Neal picking it up. He carried the ball twice this year, gaining one yard. We, well-versed in math, quickly compute that to .5 yards per carry, well short of the 80 or so needed to beat us. No worries.

What's this? Neal is handing the ball back to someone else! What chicanery! Dare I say it -- skullduggery! We should have known Jeff Fisher would dig deep into his bag of tricks, trying to dupe us into believing Neal would run with the ball.

But we're ready for his tomfoolery. Because we know that tight end Frank Wycheck, a 250-pounder, is a much more established runner. Forget the bad knee -- this guy has three career rushes, netting four yards. He once gained three yards on one surely mesmerizing carry from scrimmage. Lord knows how dangerous he can be on a kickoff. Surround him! Make sure if he goes anywhere, he can only move laterally. And don't pay any mind to the world-class sprinter on the other side of the field -- that's an obvious decoy. Right, Coach?

OK, stop the memory tape. Let's bail out here -- I can't bear to watch the rest again.

For the record

People who live in huts with no electricity probably somehow could tell you that I picked Buffalo last week, because in a game like that, I'm always on the wrong side. If I were around to bet on the North in the Civil War, I swear that Robert E. Lee's face would be on the five-dollar bill and President Foxworthy would be running for a fourth term.

That loss ignited a 1-3 weekend against the spread and on totals.

Saturday's games

MIAMI +8 1/2 vs. Jacksonville, under 38 1/2 -- Responding to comments about Jacksonville's weak schedule, the team has been quick to point out that they didn't pick the opponents. Without Pro Bowl tackle Tony Boselli, it's tough to pick the Jaguars, even with their gaudy 14-2 mark. Miami actually enters the game with a more impressive list of conquers, and it should put up a strong fight, but eventually see the end, perhaps, of Dan Marino's reign in the Sunshine State. Jacksonville 13, Miami 10.

WASHINGTON +5 at Tampa Bay, under 39 -- If Tampa Bay fans are worried about a rookie quarterback leading the Buccaneers into the playoffs, they shouldn't be, at least not this week. With the porous Redskins run defense, it's possible that Tampa may never have to pass the ball. Still, even against the Buccaneers' defense, Washington has enough offense to keep it close. Tampa Bay 17, Washington 13.

Sunday's games

ST. LOUIS -7 vs. Minnesota, over 52 -- The team with the third-highest point total in NFL history faces the team with the next-to-worst pass defense in the NFL. The Vikings can do some scoring themselves, but it won't be enough. St. Louis 38, Minnesota 23.

INDIANAPOLIS -5 1/2 vs. Tennessee, over 46 -- It's doubtful the Titans will pull able to pull off any trickery against the Colts, but no matter. Indy will race by Tennessee into the AFC title game. Indianapolis 34, Tennessee 14.