Columnist Jeff German: A mother’s love is hard to give up

Sunday, Feb. 13, 2000 | 9:15 a.m.

Jeff German is the Sun's senior investigative reporter. Reach him at german@lasvegassun.com or 259-4067.

You never know how much you're going miss a mother's love until she's gone.

We buried Mom last weekend in Milwaukee, where she had spent most of her life, and her grief-stricken family misses her very much.

Our longtime friend and rabbi, Isaac N. Lerer, who conducted Mom's tear-filled funeral, described her as a "woman of valor." That she was. But like all good matriarchs, she was much more.

June German was the strength of the family, the thread of steel that held my father, Max, her husband of 47 years, and four independent children together.

A mother's love is so unconditional that often we take it for granted. We overlook little things, like the times she reminds us of a birthday in the family or provides that soothing touch when we're feeling down.

Our family is no different than others. We had come to expect all of the little things my mother did.

Her death came so fast that I never had a chance to tell her how much I loved her one last time. Fortunately, she was the kind of mother who didn't always need to hear those words. She knew instinctively how we felt about her.

Mom had many fine qualities. She was intelligent, outgoing, caring and compassionate. She was bursting with personality. But her biggest attribute was her willingness to sacrifice her own well-being for the happiness of her family.

About three years ago, not too long after her retirement as administrator of Temple Menorah in Milwaukee, Mom left her friends behind and moved with Dad to Las Vegas, where she could keep a closer eye on most of her family. She loved being around her four grandchildren.

While here she never missed reading one of my stories. When I got a scoop, it was as if she had gotten one, too. And when I got beat on a story, she felt as though she had gotten beat. Mom also was on hand to provide much-needed encouragement as I took a stab at television journalism. Even when I stumbled, I could do no wrong in her eyes.

My mother was my best friend, my confidante and my biggest fan. I did everything with her. In times of joy she would help me celebrate. And in times of despair she was there to console me. She was my guiding light.

What Mom did for me, she also did for my brother Jay and sisters Julie and Jill. She never played favorites and was proud of all of her children. She also held a special place in her heart for her two sons-in-law, Mike and Fredric, whom she embraced with open arms. Mom loved them like her own sons. Her nurturing spirit also was felt by my father, her life-long partner, who knows more than any of us how life will never be the same without her.

At Temple Menorah, where Mom was regarded as a hero who helped build the synagogue into a first-rate house of worship, her loss has brought profound sadness.

Rabbi Lerer fought back tears as he delivered a moving eulogy of Mom's magnificent accomplishments in life. We will always remember the comfort that the rabbi and his family provided during our time of sorrow in Milwaukee. We also never will forget the strength that Rabbi Mel Hecht gave us at the hospital in Las Vegas when we had some difficult decisions to make before Mom passed away.

I don't know why my mother had to leave us so abruptly. Life, it seems, has a way of dishing out very cruel blows on occasion. For every tragic moment, however, there are a thousand joyous ones, which we intend to have in the future. And we'll think of Mom when we enjoy them.

How ironic it is that my mother's death has brought our family closer together. We have had no choice. The void she left is immeasurable.

Nothing can bring her back. But since her passing, I have been overwhelmed by dozens of kind-hearted calls, letters, cards and e-mails from friends and well-wishers. Many offering condolences had never met Mom. But they know how hard it is to lose a mother, especially one as remarkable as mine. Everyone's thoughts and prayers are deeply appreciated.

Among those providing support were Gov. Kenny Guinn and first lady Dema Guinn.

"No matter the circumstances of their ages or health conditions, we know it is never easy to give up parents," the governor wrote. "They teach us so much just by living. And it's only as we grow older ourselves that we understand more of the lessons and value of their wisdom and perspective on life."

I'm going to miss my mother's love. Goodbye, my forever valentine.