Letter: Election played out much like Little League

Friday, Dec. 22, 2000 | 10:07 a.m.

The presidential election would have been comical if it weren't so sad. It turns out to be like a Little League baseball game.

The Republicans were ahead at the end of the fifth inning and wanted to call the game before any more scores came in. This is typical of a coach who is hurting for a relief pitcher and still wants to win the game. If he can get the game called while he is ahead, he wins.

The league manager, called Jeb, wants the team to win so he delays the game, waiting for rain. He will not let the other team bat for fear his favorite brother's team will get beat.

The opposition kicks the game up to the supposedly impartial gods of baseball for a decision. The gods, who were appointed godships by Jeb's dad, really like Jeb's brother, so they return their decision that they can play three days from now, but in the meantime the game must stay delayed. The outcome of the game determines who will represent the league in the playoffs, which start tomorrow. The delay gives a forfeit to Jeb's brother's team and they are declared the league representatives.

The other team, which is managed by Bill's buddy, calls out all of their lawyers and tries to get an extra inning, knowing that they have a better pitching staff. The gods have already ruled, so the game is called after five innings and the winner declared. What a great game.

ELDON POULSEN