Columnist Susan Snyder: Neonopolis needs more than magic

Saturday, Dec. 16, 2000 | 12:37 p.m.

Susan Snyder's column appears Sundays, Tuesdays and Fridays. Reach her at snyder@lasvegassun.com or 259-4082.

Talk about magic balls.

City officials were abuzz about them this past week when they handed out flashing, bouncy orbs at the latest -- and fourth -- Neonopolis groundbreaking.

Proponents of the $100 million Mall Without a Store said they hosted the event to keep criticism at bay and the Neonopolis name in the news. But I'm betting the real reason is the magic balls.

The ceremonial baubles sporting the Neonopolis logo came in boxes printed with "Magic Balls" and "To 2000." Seeing as how 2000 ends in two weeks, the Neonoponinnies had to do something quick. After all, you can't have a case of outdated magic balls sitting around on a shelf. People would talk.

Mayor Oscar Goodman received an honorary set of white coveralls at Tuesday's ceremony but reportedly was not on the receiving end of magic balls. Evidently he doesn't need them.

When the event started 10 minutes late Goodman said he hoped it was because they were signing a contract for an anchor store (promise of an earring kiosk probably would do at this point).

When a gust of wind swept the play-pretend hard hats from the heads of the attending Neonoponinnies and knocked over an Elvis poster, the good mayor asked, "Is that an omen?"

And when the 'Noponinnies announced there would be no announcement about an anchor store just yet, Goodman suggested that perhaps the financially embattled National Airlines would be interested.

He obviously has not lost his sense of humor while honoring his sense of duty. He dutifully showed up for a ceremony that comes once for most projects but seems to come monthly for the Misfit Mall.

He dutifully stood atop the project's underground parking garage -- a $32 million hole -- and admired the dozen or so steel beams slapped up around it the week before last.

And he dutifully signed the ceremonial beam, which was to be added to the Paul Bunyan erector set for posterity or publicity or something.

The Neonoponinnies say part of the reason for this fourth breaking of ground is to choke those who criticize the project for not moving forward. Yet the problem with this project is that it is moving forward.

It's moving forward without a single tenant, against better judgment and even in the shadow of taunting by a mayor who would give his own lung if it would breathe life into downtown.

It's moving forward with bags of public money and a public relations fable that rivals "The Emperor's New Clothes," while the downtown arts district -- something with roots and businesses that really and truly exist -- loses gallery after gallery for lack of funding and interest.

Talk about magic balls. Neonoponinnies had a lot of them Tuesday.

Legend has it that the Mall of the Shopping Dead, which was supposed to open last month, will open in February 2002. And then, in the immortal lyrics of Petula Clark played Tuesday on a continuous loop, we'll all want to be "downtown."

We'll listen to the rhythm of our money slowly going ...

Into a mall where no one seems to mind the tripe they're blowing.

Taken again ...