The Movie Guys: ‘The Replacements’ should replace script

Friday, Aug. 11, 2000 | 8:57 a.m.

The Movie Guys, starring Jeff Howard and Dave Neil, appears Fridays in the Sun. They can also be seen on the 11 a.m. Friday newscast on KVVU Channel 5. Plus, check them out online at lasvegassun.com/sun/sunlife/ movies and themovieguys.com.

Grade: Jeff, F Dave, D-

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Gene Hackman, Orlando Jones and Jon Favureau.

Screenplay: Vince McKewin and Mark Steven Johnson.

Director: Howard Deutch.

Rated: PG-13 for profanity, crude sexual humor and adult themes.

Running time: 110 minutes.

Playing at: UA Showcase 8, UA Rainbow Promenade 10, Century Orleans, Century Cinedome 12 Henderson, Rancho Santa Fe 16, Las Vegas Drive-in, Regal Cinemas Boulder Station, Regal Cinemas Sunset Station, Regal Cinemas Colonnade 14, Regal Cinemas Texas Station 18, Regal Cinemas Village Square 18.

Synopsis: It's late in the football season; the playoffs are fast approaching; and the Washington Sentinels have just gone on strike. Scrambling for a solution, the team hires legendary coach Jimmy McGinty (Gene Hackman) to recruit a team of replacement players that will lead them to a playoff spot. Led by one-time potential quarterback Shane Falco (Keanu Reeves), a group of mismatched outsiders are assembled and given the coveted second chance for a pro-career.

Jeff: As football movies go, cinema has given us classic moments that have become as famous as the sport itself. When I think of movies and football I automatically think of the final game in Robert Altman's "M*A*S*H," or Burt Reynolds as Crew, the prison quarterback, in "The Longest Yard." Who could ever forget films such as "North Dallas Forty," "The Best of Times" and "Rudy"? All of these films provide classic characters, a love of the game and special moments that provide laughs and inspiration. However, "The Replacements, is clearly nothing more than a feeble attempt to seize every sport film's cliche and pass it off as its own -- cheap laughs and a storyline that has been retold so many times that the audience knows the outcome before it happens. "The Replacements" is the "Ishtar" of football movies and should be permanently benched.

Dave: Reminiscent of the 1987 NFL players strike, the flick wastes no time establishing a strike-ridden season for the Washington Sentinels as professional players walk out on the remaining four games before the playoffs. The team owner, Edward O'Neil (veteran actor Jack Warden), takes drastic measures by convincing the self-retired and contentious McGinty (two-time Academy Award-winner Hackman) to recruit a group of players. Within a week McGinty finds his ragtag group, that have all had college or pro experience, in the oddest of places: convenient stores, the police department, prisons and the marina where the failed former quarterback Shane "Footsteps" Falco (Reeves) resides as a maintenance worker cleaning the bottoms of boats. The chance of redemption, of course, entices Falco to make his return and so then the replacements gear up for the second cha nce at pro stardom. But let me ask you this, Jeff, what in the cinematic world was Hackman, Warden, or even Reeves -- fresh! from the success of last year's "The Matrix" -- doing in this disastrous celluloid fumble?

Jeff: That is the immortal question, Dave. These roles are so far beneath these established actors, and "The Replacements" is a script that is clearly film fodder for up-and-coming actors looking to fill their resume. Hackman's character, coach McGinty, is empty, useless and is portrayed more as a big brother than a guiding coach. He allows Falco to call the plays as he sees fit and sets the team on autopilot. He never coaches! Sure, he gives a couple of good pep talks in the locker room in that trademark raspy voice of his, but then he disappears into the stands, hidden on the sidelines and mugs the standard "go-team" expressions to the camera. Does he get mad at his team, a band of misfits who need to pull together to win some games and glory? Not really, but he sure knows how to wear that Paul Bryant hat and hold a rolled up play book as if he's been co aching for years. It's clear that Hackman doesn't want to even be there -- on or off the field -- and his usual flawless pe! rformance comes across as an actor desperate for work, accepting anything thrown at him, including a football. The painful and nauseating love story between Falco and head cheerleader Annabelle Farrell (played by Brooke Langton of "Melrose Place") kept creeping up, and you could have sworn you were back in high school. The quaterback dating the head cheerleader? Give me a break.

Dave: Director Howard Deutch, whose list of credits spans from "Pretty in Pink" (1986) to "Grumpier Old Men" (1995), depends heavily on a sloppy script and bland performances. Dreadfully present is the typical barroom scuffle that bonds the team together, which does lead to the only amusing scene in the film, when Orlando Jones gives a humorous rendition of Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive." Also, Deutch must take blame for quite possibly the most uninteresting football scenes in recent memory. There are no challenging attributes and very little suspense captured on the field, nor is there any buildup between plays as each character delivers their (yawn) momentous contribution to the final "big game." For anyone looking for the gridiron grit and pigskin passes that normally accompany a football movie, you're better off renting any of the aforementioned film s, or simply catching some preseason football games rather than waste your remaining summer days/nights on "The Replacement! s."