Columnist Ron Kantowski: Cashman Field simply needs a new dress

Thursday, Aug. 10, 2000 | 10:50 a.m.

Ron Kantowski's notes column appears Thursday. Reach him at 259-4088 or ron@lasvegassun.com

Suppose for a minute that monkeys did fly out of Mike Myers' butt at the same time hell froze over, and a battalion of major league teams agreed to foreclose on sweetheart deals in Florida and Arizona and move their spring training digs to Southern Nevada.

The biggest benefactor would be the Las Vegas Stars, who would get a minimum of one brand new stadium after the bazillion dollars it would take to build a Cactus League complex capable of accommodating six teams materialized out of air that is more hot than thin. (In more ways than one.)

But the Stars don't need a new stadium.

The last time I checked (admittedly, back in April before you could roast chestnuts on the aluminum bleachers prior to a 4:05 p.m. start), there was nothing wrong with Cashman Field that a fireworks extravaganza and a spell of unseasonably cool weather couldn't cure.

The Stars apparently don't think so.

Prior to debating this spring training nonsense -- er, proposal -- a couple of months ago, a high-placed Stars official told me Cashman Field ranked umpteenth out of umpteen and one among triple-A ballparks.

Specifically, I remember him telling me the Cashman locker rooms are smaller than Laffit Pincay's closet.

Well, since I'm not one of the Stars' players to be named later, pint-sized dressing cubicles don't affect me. As for the rest of the yard, with the exception of the two-tiered outfield wall (and given the International House of Sausage has been evicted from the first-base concourse), Cashman looks very much as it did when it opened in 1983.

Maybe that's the problem as the Stars see it. If it looked as if it opened in 1933 (as do Camden Yards and every other major and minor league facility that has gone up since the Orioles dusted off blueprints for the quaint ballparks of yesteryear) this spring training nonsense -- er, proposal -- could have been averted.

But if the Stars want Sophia Loren instead of Britney Spears, then just refurbish the darn thing. After all, Cashman Field is owned by the Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority, which seemingly operates without a salary cap.

So if having a mini-Camden Yards will enable the Stars to finally increase attendance at a rate commensurate to the city's population growth, sneak a bond issue on the ballot or increase hotel room tax by half a penny. Knock down the outfield wall and insert some nooks and crannies among those billboards. Replace the overpriced and underutilized club level restaurant with luxury boxes. Install a brick facade over the concrete one, and top it off with some wrought iron.

Voila! As UNLV discovered when it decided to give Sam Boyd Stadium a face lift rather than hit it with a wrecking ball, Cashman Field will clean up well.

With its imaginary stadium problem solved, maybe then Stars brass could expend some energy on more pressing matters -- such as signing a designated hitter, for cryin' out loud.