Columnist Ron Kantowski: New parks make record books useless

Thursday, April 13, 2000 | 10:46 a.m.

Ron Kantowski's column appears Thursday. His notes column runs Tuesday. Reach him at ron@lasvegassun.com or 259-4088.

After watching a week's worth of games in the new major league bandboxes, I did the wise thing:

I picked up my Sporting News Baseball Guide, the one with all the records in it, and chucked it out the window. Because after a few seasons of 364-foot power-alley baseball, records will be more irrelevant than Ken Griffey Jr.'s April batting average.

That's not to say they aren't skewed already. I mean, who's to say that Mark McGwire would have hit 70 home runs in 1998 had he played 81 home games at the cavernous Houston Astrodome instead of cozy Busch Stadium in St. Louis? Certainly not Jeff Bagwell. Or Jimmy Wynn.

It brings to mind a quote that I once read in Bartlett's famous book of them. Paraphrasing, it said that statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is interesting, but what they conceal is vital. It was probably some chemist who said it, or maybe it was Charlie Sheen. It really doesn't matter. The point is that sports records should be taken with a grain a salt.

In baseball, make that a block of salt. At least in football, if a guy catches the pigskin on the goal line and runs 100 yards with it, it's a touchdown -- regardless of whether he's playing in Chicago or New York -- er, the Meadowlands. In baseball, if a guy hits a hanging curve 385 feet to the gap in Wrigley Field, it's a home run. In Yankee Stadium, it's a can o' corn. Especially now that Rickey Henderson's on the other side of town.

With these new "nook-and-cranny" parks, it's probably a home run either way. Most of the new yards couldn't hold a loud foul in a Wiffle Ball game. The others have so many jagged edges, flag poles and monuments in the field of play that all but the most acrobatic outfielders are bound to be knocked unconscious shagging what would have been a routine fly ball when they were breaking in. If statistics are your thing, check the inside-the-park home run totals after this season and compare them to the pre-Camden Yards era.

Banjo hitters have gone the way of double-knit uniforms. Now, with all these short porches at which to aim, even utility infielders are swinging cellos in the on-deck circle.

Of the three new parks that debuted this week, only one, Comerica Park in Detroit, will require getting good wood to touch 'em all. But everybody's going to be touching three instead. It's 398 feet to left-center, 420 to center and 380 to right-center. Center fielders in Detroit don't get "on their bicycle" anymore. They'll need a Harley-Davidson to cover that much ground.

Case in point: Tuesday's Tigers home opener. It was about 16 degrees and most of the hitters were wearing ski masks -- pitchers' weather in most places. But the Tigers and Indians combined for three triples. It looked like Mike Cameron was running a one-man relay race in center field.

One of the three-baggers went to lead-footed Bobby Higginson. The last I heard, William Conrad was rounding second and steaming for third when he lost his balance and had to settle for a bases-clearing double.

Don't get me wrong. I love the new asymmetrical ballparks. I think it's neat when managers actually have to pay attention to the ground rules when they exchange lineup cards and that every paying customer -- even the ones in the bleachers -- have a seat in close proximity to the field.

But they shouldn't be able to reach out and pat the left-fielder on the rump, either.