Columnist Sal DeFilippo: Picking correctly seems akin to pulling teeth

Sal DeFilippo

Friday, Oct. 8, 1999 | 9:42 a.m.

Sal DeFilippo's pro football picks column appears Friday. Reach him at 259-4076 or sal@vegas.com

The way my picks have gone the past few seasons, you would figure I could handle a little pain. OK, a lot of pain.

I made a presumably routine trip to the dentist's office this week, a place where, ironically, everyone else puts on a big smile when I walk in.

"Oh, look, here comes Sal," I hear Cindy say from the front desk. "Quick, go get that new special drill -- you know, the one we picked up the other day at the Home Depot? Yes, the one that doubles as a staple gun."

OK, so it's not really like that at all. Dr. Taylor's staff has always been professional and hospitable, despite shunning my idea to give outgoing patients a lollipop and a candy bar for the ride home. Who wants extra floss?

Anyway, eventually I run out of timeouts in the waiting room and the exorcism, er, rather the cleaning begins. Lisa, the hygienist who obviously drew the shortest straw, calls for me.

"Is this going to hurt?" I ask as she secures the padlocks over the straps on the chair of death. "That's funny," she says, "because I wonder the same thing just before I read your column. Oh, nice pick on the Cardinals last week, Nostradamus. Now open wide ... "

Lisa isn't a big football fan, but she knows what I do, and it gives us something to talk about. That is, until she injects the keg of Novocain into my mouth. Then it gives her something to talk about.

"I see you brush about as well as you pick games," she continues. "Emmitt Smith could run through some of these gaps. The Bengals' defense has fewer holes."

I tried to bite my lip as a form of restraint. I'm not sure if it worked, though, because it was so numb I couldn't feel it. Once the Novocain subsided, I asked Lisa who her favorite player was.

"John Elway, no doubt about it," she said.

At least she knew one of the game's greatest players. I asked her if she remembered "The Drive" against Cleveland in 1987, or if she admired his play in the two most recent Super Bowls.

"Oh, I never saw him play," she says, walking me toward the door. "But he has great teeth."

Despite the soreness, even I had to smile at that one.

For the record

A second consecutive strong week -- 9-4-1 against the spread -- was marred slightly by Arizona's no-show at Dallas.

Top of the line: 1-3.

Against the spread: 27-29-2.

Over/unders: 29-27-2.

Straight-up: 35-23.

Top of the line

NEW ENGLAND +2 1/2 at Kansas City, under 41 -- The Patriots are a fraudulent 4-0, but they have come from behind to win every game. The Chiefs, who came from ahead to blow last week's game against San Diego, help continue the pattern. New England 21, Kansas City 13.

Other games

PITTSBURGH +6 1/2 at Buffalo, under 38 -- Maybe Kordell Stewart picked the wrong position to eliminate when he ditched the "Slash" moniker. This week, his running keeps the Steelers close. Buffalo 20, Pittsburgh 17.

CHICAGO +13 at Minnesota, under 43 -- Forty-three points? Neither of these teams has scored more than 21 in any game this season. Through four games, Dick Jauron has done a nice job in Chicago. Too many points. Minnesota 20, Chicago 10.

NEW ORLEANS -4 1/2 vs. Atlanta, under 40 -- It's hard to back a team that replaces one Billy Joe with another, but either tops the Tony Graziani/Danny Kanell circus. New Orleans 24, Atlanta 14.

ST. LOUIS -3 1/2 vs. San Francisco, over 42 1/2 -- Kurt Warner became the first quarterback in NFL history to throw at least three touchdown passes in each of his first three games during last week's rout of Cincinnati. The streak could end this week, but the Rams, scary as it may seem, are the class of the division, at least for now. St. Louis 28, San Francisco 19.

PHILADELPHIA +9 1/2 vs. Dallas, under 37 -- Through four games, this is the sad state of the Philadelphia offense. Combined points scored in the second quarter: 3. Combined points scored in the third quarter: 3. Combined points scored in the fourth quarter: 3. Eventually they're bound to stumble into a score. Dallas 19, Philadelphia 12.

DETROIT -3 1/2 vs. San Diego, under 40 -- Former Chargers coach Bobby Ross takes on his old club. The Lions escaped the bye week with Barry Sanders coming out of retirement -- they're better for it. Detroit 29, San Diego 7.

CINCINNATI -2 1/2 at Cleveland, under 36 -- Most view this as one of the few games Cleveland could win. However, the same is true for Cincinnati. Cincinnati 23, Cleveland 10.

NEW YORK GIANTS +3 at Arizona, under 37 1/2 -- The Cardinals lead the league in HMO claims. New York Giants 17, Arizona 13.

DENVER +7 at Oakland, under 38 -- Eventually, something has to go right for Denver. Doesn't it? Denver 13, Oakland 10.

INDIANAPOLIS +2 vs. Miami, over 44 -- Most people would pick Peyton Manning or Marvin Harrison as the team's most valuable player in the team's first three games. But five other people deserve the honor -- the Colts offensive line. Manning is the only NFL quarterback not to be sacked this season, and the protection he was given against San Diego helped him set a team record with 404 passing yards. Take the rested Colts. Indianapolis 30, Miami 21.

TENNESSEE -7 vs. Baltimore, over 38 -- Justin Armour shielded me from victory last week against the Falcons, but I can still make a Case to pick against Stoney. Tennessee 29, Baltimore 16.

TAMPA BAY +6 at Green Bay, under 40 1/2 -- The Bucs lost at Minnesota and Green Bay early last season and recovered too late to make the playoffs. Warren Sapp does everything he can to prevent a repeat, but the Packers rally late -- again. Green Bay 22, Tampa Bay 17.

NEW YORK JETS +3 vs. Jacksonville, under 40 1/2 -- When these teams met in last year's playoffs, Keyshawn Johnson did almost everything -- he ran for a touchdown, caught a pass for a touchdown, recovered a fumble and intercepted a pass. Given the Jets' 1999 woes, maybe he should working on throwing the ball, too. Still, the Jaguars haven't been the powerhouse they were expected to be, either. New York Jets 19, Jacksonville 16.

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