Columnist John Katsilometes: Visit from a hunka-hunka angel

Sunday, Nov. 14, 1999 | 9:48 a.m.

John Katsilometes' column appears Tuesdays and Sundays. Reach him at 259-2327 or kats@vegas.com.

As Ricky Martin readied for his Friday night show at the Mandalay Bay Events Center, a roundish figure wearing a white sequined jumpsuit beamed in. He wore the famed "EP" sunglasses, oily black hair, fluffy sideburns, rhinestone-studded belt and matching cape.

He was also fitted with a couple of postmortem accessories -- a golden halo and a flowing pair of wings.

Angel Elvis.

"Ah'm here to give ya some advice, son," the mythic figure told Martin, resting his meaty hand on the young singer's shoulder. "Ya gotta minute?"

"Are you, um, who I think you are?" Martin said, tucking his black satin shirt into his black leather pants. "You can't really be ..."

"Ah think you know who I am."

"I really must be livin' la vida loca!"

"Don't get all uppity, son. Ah'm here on a mercy mission."

"Do you mind me asking, how did you get back here?"

"Ah still have juice in this town, son, don't you forget it. My collection of police badges can get me into just about anything, lemme tell ya."

"But why did you track me down?"

"Let's just say you remind me of another hip-shaking young singer from years ago. I want to take you under my wing, so to speak."

"I wish I had time, but I'm kind of running late. You can hear the screams out there ..."

"Ah've heard screams before son. Trust Angel Elvis. They can wait."

"OK, right. So, um, shoot. WAIT! Don't shoot. I mean, go ahead. I'm all ears. Well, not all ears."

"That's a good line, son. Ah had one like that in 'Clambake.' Lemme ask ya, how old are ya?"

"Twenty-seven."

"Man, how things change. I was into my second comeback when I was 27. I'd already done, what, 50-some movies."

"Well, I've got a pretty good career resume going, too."

"Gimme a fer-instance, son."

"I was in Menudo, the young dance group ..."

"Ah remember them. They called them Puerto Rican Elvis Presleys, right?"

"Right! What did you think of that?"

"Ah turned over in my grave, son."

"Ooh, sorry. But that was a long time ago and I've grown up. I've made four solo albums, three of them in Spanish."

"Good idea, son. Way to reach the international market. Col. Tom would-a been proud of ya for comin' up with that gimmick."

"Um, Spanish is my native language. I've also done some acting. I was in the Broadway production of 'Les Miserables.' "

"Ah liked 'Grease' better. That Danny Zuco just killed me, son."

"I was on TV, too. Ever heard of 'General Hospital'?"

"Ah think they checked me in there one time."

"No, no. It's a soap opera. I played Miguel the bartender."

"Great role, son. Bartenders always get the chicks."

"You know it, King."

"Ah can tell by the sound of the crowd you'd better shake a leg, son, so lemme give ya some pearls of wisdom."

"Right."

"If ya ever have a chance to date Ann-Margret, take it."

"Got it."

"Watch what you eat and keep yourself in shape. Ya might've noticed I was a big star in more ways than one."

"Right. Lay off the fried banana and peanut butter sandwiches."

"Mmmmm. Fried bananas ..."

"Angel Elvis?"

"Sorry. Unless you've just had a tooth pulled, stay off them devil prescription drugs. And if ya do find yerself taking big pink pills at 3 o'clock in the mornin', remember that Betty Ford is your friend."

"Got it. Anything else?"

"Well, I've seen your act son, and it's quite a show. But if I were you I'd remember one thing."

"What's that?"

"Stay friendly with the folks here in Vegas. You might be working here permanently."