Columnist Tim Graham: Rebel hoops: Here is the pitch

Tim Graham

Thursday, May 27, 1999 | 10:26 a.m.

Tim Graham's column appears Thursday. His media notebook appears Wednesday. Reach him at tim@lasvegassun.com or 259-4078.

If you've ever purchased a Chia Pet, a Pocket Fisherman, a Thighmaster or a K-Tel album, have I got a deal for you:

UNLV basketball season tickets.

After hearing program pitchman Bill Bayno do his best impression of Ron Popeil -- the Ronco founder who brought you such ingenious products as Mr. Microphone, the Rhinestone Gun and the Inside the Shell Electric Egg Scrambler -- it's easy to feel good about the 1999-2000 Rebels.

Bayno held a press conference on Wednesday to speak for the first time about this year's recruiting class and to officially unveil the upcoming schedule.

"I wish the season started tomorrow," he said.

Tell us more, Bill!

"I'm excited about the five guys we have coming back," Bayno said of Mark Dickel, Issiah Epps, Kaspars Kambala, Chris Richardson and Donovan Stewart. "I'm excited about their attitude, their coachability, their work ethic.

"I'm excited about these kids coming in because they're warriors, and they're going to go to war every day."

Ten recruits were brought in, anchored by three junior college sharpshooters: guards Trevor Diggs and Kenny Dye and forward Lou Kelly.

Bayno stated there's no reason, aside from wholesale injuries, this team can't give Rebel fans what they've been waiting for since the departure of Tark.

"This will be the closest we've come to being the old Rebels in terms of pressure defense and the up tempo," Bayno said.

"I came here with the intent to play up-tempo. This will be the best team we've had here in terms of making shots, being able to finish in transition, not turning the ball over and being able to make decisions."

It slices, it dices, it juliennes!

Bayno admitted UNLV's program was a tougher sell this year with the pending NCAA investigation, the bulk defections and last season's lousy end.

But the fifth-year head coach is comfortable with the crew who bought in.

"Any time you mention the NCAA it scares people," Bayno said. "Having no knowledge of the situation, it still scares people. But I never failed to bring that up to each player."

It removes literally hundreds of stains, including grease, ink, grass stains, food stains, blood, crayons, pet stains, lipstick and so much more!

Bayno was asked if his team is in a rebuilding phase.

"I like to use the word 'reloading,' " he said.

"Our goals are the same every year: to be the hardest playing team and the hardest practicing team in the conference and to put ourselves in a position to win the conference championship and get into the NCAA tournament."

Bayno also called next year's schedule "challenging."

Now after listening to this unbiased testimonial, how much would you expect to pay for a thrilling season of Rebel basketball? $29.95? Maybe $19.95?

No way!

For as low as $250, you can own a pair of upper-bowl tickets to every Rebel game this upcoming season. That includes opponents such as Eastern Kentucky, High Point and, yes, even Fairfield! Of course, those seats are behind the basket, but you can upgrade to the corners for $350 or closer to center court for $510.

Supplies are limited, so don't delay! Call 895-UNLV now! That's 895-UNLV! Visa, MasterCard and American Express accepted! Once again, that's 895-UNLV!

Smooth operators are standing by!