Columnist Ron Kantowski: Marlins lose again — this time to soccer

Thursday, May 27, 1999 | 10:08 a.m.

Ron Kantowski's notes column appears Tuesday and Thursday. Reach him at ron @ lasvegassun.com or 259-4088.

The Sun sports staff is more likely to get its fingers caught in the cookie jar than on the pulse of the American sporting public, which is too bad for soccer.

But there were other signs Wednesday that the Beautiful Game, as the great Pele once called it, might finally be catching on over on this side of the pond.

With the Cubs-Marlins game slated for the satellite instead of WGN and the last soft porn -- er, workout -- show having run its course on The Deuce at least two hours earlier, I had nearly worked up the nerve to switch the office TV to Wednesday's Champions Cup Final -- the Super Bowl of European club soccer -- between Manchester United of England and Bayern Munich of Germany when one of the desk guys beat me to it.

Two soccer fans outed at once? The odds of that happening had to be longer than a claimer winning the Kentucky Derby.

More surprises. At halftime, when I went to run an errand, one of the sports talk radio guys, Peter Brown, was mystified by the notion that while virtually the entire world was tuned into the Champions final, the typical American fan would have rather spent Wednesday afternoon watching a meaningless baseball game in The Metrodome.

The soccer match, conversely, was taut from start to finish and the ending bordered on incredulous -- desperate Manchester United scored two goals in "injury" time (time tacked on to compensate for injuries and other deadball stoppages after the regular 45-minute half expires) to win 2-1. Man U. thus became the first club in the storied history of English football to win the triple -- domestic, FA (Football Association) and Champions Cups -- in the same season.

A little while after the match, Sun basketball writer Steve Carp ambled into the office and asked if we had seen the finish. He had just returned from an assignment at Bally's, where he said the sports book was jammed pack with raucous soccer fans.

Granted, most of them either spoke like Austin Powers, ordered their beer by the pint or were clutching betting slips.

But they didn't seem to care about the Cubs and the Marlins.

* THE WORM TURNS ... INTO TRAFFIC: Everybody knows that Dennis Rodman is an accident waiting to happen. But sometimes it's those behind him -- in this case, literally -- who have to pay the premium.

According to an eyewitness, Rodman was seen bolting from the Crazy Horse II, a local topless joint, earlier this week with his entourage in tow. Rodman, appearing agitated, peeled out of the parking lot in a luxury car. In his haste to keep up, one of Rodman's henchmen -- er, entourage members -- pulled his luxury car into traffic and smack into the path of a speeding truck.

Apparently, neither driver was injured in the grinding wreck. But the car driven by Rodman's pal was pronounced dead at the scene.

* FULL PLATE: And speaking of eccentric athletes and auto mishaps, did you see what the criminal justice system has planned for Mike Tyson now that he's no longer playing poker for Camels? Here are the conditions of Tyson's early release from jail and ongoing parole:

-- 200 hours of community service (within the next two years).

-- Urine testing (twice weekly).

-- Make himself available for unannounced home visits by state of Maryland authorities (whenever).

-- Complete a psychiatric evaluation.

-- Undergo anger management treatment.

Tyson also must receive permission every time he leaves Maryland, which isn't exactly New Mexico in terms of square mileage.

That's got to be the worse schedule since ... well, since the UNLV men's basketball team announced its non-conference home docket a couple of weeks ago.

So now when Tyson shows up for his anger management counseling, he'll probably be greeted by a couple hundred UNLV season ticket holders.

* MOVE-IN SPECIAL: If the fledgling International Basketball League is desperate to set up an office for its proposed Las Vegas franchise (and given the team doesn't have so much as a telephone number yet with opening tip less than six months away, desperation might be the operative word) might I suggest the former Las Vegas Posse headquarters on East Desert Inn Road?

The Posse, a defunct Canadian Football League team which folded midway through its one and only season in 1994, contributed mightily to Las Vegas' urban blight -- not by playing bad football under goofy rules, but by taking a perfectly unobtrusive fourplex and turning it into an eyesore by painting garish team logos all over its facade. The lettering was so large and is to this day that Mr. Magoo could read it. From Henderson.

Maybe the yet-to-be-named IBL team deserves better digs. Then again, given one of the selling points of the new league is a three-second lane shaped like a trapezoid, perhaps not.

* INJURY TIME: With the possible exception of anybody who used to date Warren Beatty during the pre-Annette Bening days, there isn't anybody who gets hurt more often than former UNLV pitcher Donovan Osborne of the St. Louis Cardinals.

Osborne, who went on the disabled list for the seventh time in seven major league seasons, is expected to miss 2-3 months after undergoing arthroscopic surgery (by noted sports physician Dr. Frank Jobe) to repair a joint in his pitching shoulder.

The Carson City native was the Cards' opening-day starter for the first time in his career last month. He struggled to a 1-3 record with a 5.52 earned-run average in six starts before taking his customary spot on the disabled list.

* PARTING SHOT: Shaquille O'Neal, on his lack of championships: "I've won at every level, except college and pro."