Columnist Ruthe Deskin: Children must learn to behave

Ruthe Deskin

Thursday, July 29, 1999 | 9:50 a.m.

Ruthe Deskin is assistant to the publisher. Her column appears Thursdays. Reach her at deskin@vegas.com

Children should be seen and not heard.

In my long-ago youth that was the prevailing philosophy. It doesn't apply today.

A friend called complaining of a problem she encountered while shopping at a local dress shop.

A small boy and a little girl, both around the ages of 5 or 6, were chasing each other through racks of clothes. The little girl would hide behind some dresses as the boy searched for her. Both children were pulling at the clothes and leaving racks in disarray. Not a mother or guardian of any kind was in sight as the two kids tore through the area.

Finally a woman came by and called to the children. Obviously the mother was unaware of the havoc the children had created, or she didn't care. A clerk admitted that it was all-too-normal behavior and she got tired of making other people's children behave.

My friend ended the conversation with an exasperated remark: "I just can't understand why people let their kids behave so badly."

According to some researchers, American children suffer more behavioral disorders, don't do as well on standardized tests and are more likely to be obese compared to children 30 or 40 years ago.

Many child psychologists and social workers seem to think that more money for research and surveys would solve the problem.

There's no doubt that money can turn things around for a lot of people, but it doesn't take a lot of in-depth research to discover that kids today are missing out on a lot of things we old timers took for granted.

For one thing, our role models were not rock stars, jocks, or people with questionable morals.

Parents gave their children certain values to live by -- such as honesty, integrity, responsibility and love. We were taught that we were not to touch other people's property. Children were told they were responsible for their actions. There was no cop-out -- no way to blame others for our indiscretions. When out in public we were instructed to act like ladies and gentlemen and heaven help us if we didn't.

I suppose my father would be indicted for child abuse these days, as he was not reluctant to take the old razor strop and lay it across our backsides if we didn't follow the rules.

Children need guidance. They are like little puppies who will continually chew on slippers until someone teaches them they can't do it anymore. The sad thing for today's generation of kids is that their parents grew up in a very permissive society, so how can they be expected to teach their own children the difference between right and wrong?

Parents should realize that their children need guidance and love, bolstered by a set of values that can help them face all the temptations offered in our society.

I would like to be able to take exception to researchers who say our kids are getting worse, but it's difficult in the light of juvenile crimes and misdemeanors on the rise. But I do believe the problem rests more with the parents than the children. Adults have to offer an example. Children are like putty to be molded into a form. If the molders lack character, so will the children.

A simple start would be to let little kids know they should not destroy property in a department store, or any place else. Someone has to tell them. They are not born with that knowledge.

That old razor strop worked well in my day, although I would not recommend such drastic measures. But some form of firm discipline never hurt. *

A short notice in the obituary column informed me of the passing of an old friend, who was referred to as a retired gaming supervisor and a 49-year resident.

I would be remiss if I didn't remind Sun readers that Dick Butcher was a member of the once-talented and popular Las Vegas Wranglers professional baseball team from 1948 to 1951. He joined the sheriff's department where he rose to the rank of lieutenant before retiring to take the job of chief of security at a Strip hotel. *

Sheep ranchers, who have been set upon by the Bureau of Land Management, wildlife management services and conservationists, are having the last laugh. It seems public officials have decided that grazing sheep help reduce the danger of wildfires.

At the same time, Northern Nevada sheep men are ironic when they discuss New Mexico's plan to kill cougars to save the wild bighorn sheep from extinction. When cougars raid the herds of domesticated sheep, wildlife management services are reluctant to allow the ranchers to protect their flocks by killing a cougar. *

"True happiness is going to a high school reunion and learning that the boy who was most likely to succeed -- didn't." (from "The ABCs of Happiness.")