Where I Stand — Brian Greenspun: A painful life lesson

Thursday, July 22, 1999 | 9:59 a.m.

Brian Greenspun is editor of the Las Vegas Sun.

THE SEA has given up its mystery to the power of the United States Navy and Coast Guard. In doing so, it may give some finality to the families of John Fitzgerald Kennedy Jr., his wife, Carolyn, and her sister, Lauren.

When the news spread that the bodies of JFK Jr. and his wife and sister-in-law had been recovered by Navy divers and other sophisticated equipment, there was no more proof needed to give both a sense of relief and a sense of disbelief to those who have stayed glued to the their news sources ever since the word first went out that a small plane was missing with the three young people aboard.

For the families who hoped against hope that by some miracle the trio would be found alive despite all of the factual evidence to the contrary, there came a sense of relief that they could now move on, past a feeling of hopelessness and helplessness and into a state of faith that could help them mourn their very great loss. For the rest of us, the overwhelming sense of disbelief -- that such a tragedy could happen to such promising people and that what should never have happened actually did -- was changed by that grim news to allow us to also deal with the loss.

That is what came from the sea Wednesday morning. On Wednesday night it appeared that the families of the victims had decided to return their ashes back to the sea they loved and the anonymity that it would forever provide. Any burial decision, of course, would be appropriate. This one also seems proper.

For five days a shocked nation watched in horror as the television screens filled with the nothingness that a lack of news provides. Over and over again, the pictures of a young John-John, his father, President John Fitzgerald Kennedy and mother, Jacqueline, flashed before our eyes, making indelible that which we could already never forget -- the memories of a time of Camelot gone sad. The photos of a young married couple, the toast of New York and one of the hopes of a newer generation, along with a beautiful and loving sister, displayed to the world far more than the victims, had they lived, would have ever countenanced. And yet it was all we could do and all we had to hang on to while the various governmental agencies did their job and the recovery experts did theirs.

It is for the living amongst the families to move past this latest in a seemingly endless grip of tragic deaths. It is also for the rest of us to learn, one more time, that powerful people and powerful circumstances are powerless in the face of death. If there is a lesson to be learned, and there are a few, one is that tempting the odds is a foolish endeavor. Too many young people think the inevitable can't happen to them and therefore, they take chances that are better left untried. This week a bereaved nation will bury three young and beautiful people as proof, once more, that life is, at best, fragile.

I have also listened to some people speaking out about the "special efforts" made by our government to first search and rescue the three victims, and then to search and recover their remains once the truth was known. They complained, unbelievably, that those same efforts would not have been undertaken for someone not of their fame.

They are right. And they are so, so wrong. There are air tragedies happening across this country every day with nothing close to the search efforts made as we have witnessed this past week. There have also been circumstances when all the might and power of the United States has been brought to bear in the search for a small child, with a nation's emotional well-being hanging in the balance. If we take a critical look at the history of such efforts, it is doubtful we could ever find a pattern. The government, like each of us, is governed by the emotions of the day when it comes to such actions. This was one of those times.

It has also been one of those rare times when a young person like John Jr., a man raised from infancy by an entire generation of Americans, has been lost. Finding him was not only the right and proper thing to do for the family but also the only thing that could be done to allow a shocked and grieving country to move on. For those few people who can't understand that need, there is little anyone can say or do to change their minds.

What we can and must do now is understand the reasons for the plane crash and resolve in our own lives to do and act more sensibly. Whether we fly in planes, drive in cars or just take walks down the street, understanding the risks involved is a responsibility each of us has to our family members and friends with whom we may be traveling.

I can't imagine, nor do I ever want to know, the terrible and terrific pain that Sen. Ted Kennedy and his entire family are going through as a result of John Jr.'s death. The fact that his parents are no longer alive makes this tragedy somewhat more bearable, but only slightly. And what of the parents of those two beautiful girls? They are alive and they now know the grief that no parent should ever have to feel.

There are no words to adequately express the grief of the American people for the families and loved ones of the three victims. One family has had far more than its share of tragedy and the other one, more tragedy than any of us should ever know. It is not enough to send our prayers and condolences to the Kennedys, Bessettes and Freemans. But it is all that we have and all that we can do. Except to learn.

Some of life's lessons don't come cheap. This one has cost far too much for the rest of us to ignore.

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