Columnist John Katsilometes: An ode to a really fine strip

Monday, Dec. 20, 1999 | 8:50 a.m.

John Katsilometes is the Sun assistant features editor. His column appears Mondays. Reach him at 259-2327 or kats@vegas.com.

The first time I ever read or heard about Woodstock was not from the big rock concert.

I knew Woodstock only as a fuzzy little bird from a comic strip. Snoopy's friend. But I didn't understand the name "Woodstock," so I asked my mom about it. She said Woodstock was initially the title of a big music festival in the far-off planet of New York state.

She talked of Joan Baez, Santana, Jimi Hendrix, The Who, naked hippies in mud (which I learned later was not the name of a band) and the legendary Sha-Na-Na.

The real Woodstock was not such a mixed bag. The character dutifully tailed the fearless beagle, hip-hopping along and speaking in a different language. The voice bubble over Woodstock's head was always filled with indecipherable scratchy little characters. It was up to us to crack the code.

And we did. Every day of the week in the local newspaper.

Woodstock was just a bit player in the fascinating Peanuts cast. Creator Charles Schulz announced his retirement last week, recovering from cancer at age 77, ending an unbroken 50-year run of enlightening drawings and life lessons.

From Schulz, we learned so much:

When kicking a field goal, have faith in the holder.

Believe in the value of free enterprise and interpersonal relationships (psychiatric help, 5 cents).

The perils of inflation and financial instability (psychiatric help, 35 cents).

Music, particularly Beethoven, is beautiful. Even on a toy piano. It's a good way to attract the opposite sex, too.

Chasing red-headed girls is a futile pursuit.

At some point, it's time to shed the blanket and yank your thumb out of your mouth.

Fantasy is not necessarily a bad thing. Donning a helmet, sunglasses, a scarf and blasting away as the Red Baron is a fine stress reliever.

Sexual ambiguity among friends (Peppermint Patty and Marci in this case) can be accepted. Sir.

Never forget your strange relatives -- Snoopy always had a soft spot in his heart for Spike in Needles, who could have been mistaken for white trash.

A stripped-down Christmas tree can become a wondrous redwood with a some work and love.

Snoopy kicks Garfield's butt.

Premature hair loss affects even children, such as son-of-a-barber Charlie Brown.

A frozen-over bird bath can make for a decent hockey rink.

It's OK to kiss a dog.

Never let a malinger play right field.

There are a lot of blockheads in this world.

Never begin a novel with, "It was a dark and stormy night ..."

Knickers never go out of style.

When frustrated, feel free to shriek, "AAAAAARRRGH."

Bean bags are the best pieces of furniture money can buy.

Sometimes it's nice to sleep on top of the dog house.

When the authoritarians are coming down on you, just hear "WA, WA, WA, WA."

Anyone can overcome a D-minus.

For the Schulz and the entire Peanuts gang, we can only wish them a happy retirement and afterlife.

Good grief? At times. But mostly it was just good.

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