Columnist Ron Kantowski: Tyson’s handlers have to beat the count

Tuesday, Aug. 10, 1999 | 9:50 a.m.

Ron Kantowski's notes column appears Tuesday and Thursday. Reach him at ron @ lasvegassun.com or 259-4088.

"Yesterday I was lying to you. Today, I'm telling you the truth."

Those words, or a variation thereof, are what earned Las Vegas fight promoter Bob Arum his rightful spot in "Bartlett's Book of Famous Quotations," or a variation thereof. But it's the boxing media -- or at least those outlets that last week trumpeted Mike Tyson's return to the ring against Buster Douglas as if it were a done deal -- which should be feeling a little sheepish today.

Dan Goossen, one of Tyson's promoters, made it official Monday: Tyson won't be fighting Douglas at the MGM Grand on Oct. 2 or anytime thereafter.

Apparently, Douglas, the man who shocked the world by handing Tyson his first defeat back in 1990, has moved his home base from Cleveland to Akron, Ohio, put a Goodyear patch on his gray sweat suit and is masquerading (once again) as the Goodyear blimp.

He reportedly has ballooned to more than 300 pounds -- down from his personal high of 400 but still too way heavy, especially at his age (38), to pass a battery of health tests the Nevada State Athletic Commisison had planned for him. So Tyson's connections will have to find another tub of goo for Tyson to beat up on.

But they had better find one fast. There's only two months before the proposed fight, which leaves enough time to promote it but perhaps not enough to train for it.

During his glory days, opponents were like bowling pins to Tyson. Somebody set them up, he knocked them down.

But with his cloak of invincibility having been checked at Evander Holyfield's door, Tyson's camp is being more selective than a senior citizen shopping the produce section at the Smith's Food King.

If Tyson's handlers don't make a beeline for the canned goods section (or wherever they keep the tomato paste) soon, the only official announcement that is going be made regarding this fight is that it is off.

* TIGER JAM II: The world's best-dressed gallery was let inside the ropes at the Rio Hotel Saturday night as Tiger Jam II, a gala benefiting the Tiger Woods Foundation, drew a crowd of more than 1,000.

The highlight of the evening was a 30-minute performance by Canadian songstress Celine Dion and a charity auction that raised $242,500. A round of golf with Woods went for $65,000.

That broke the record for the world's most expensive tee time, previously held by Las Vegas' Royal Links Golf Club.

* HOOPS IN VEGAS II: August is a big month for sports fund-raisers around here. Dozens of NBA stars are expected to mingle with showbiz types at this weekend's second Hoops in Vegas charity outing at the Hard Rock Hotel.

Basketball greats expected to take part (according to the press release) include Kareem Abdul Jabbar, Moses Malone, Lucius Allen, Mark Aguirre, Connie Hawkins, Kiki Vandeweghe, Marques Johnson, Kurt Rambis, Kenny Smith and Steve Lavin. Current NBA stars slated to make a cameo as coaches include Baron Davis, Vince Carter, Jason Kidd, Ron Harper, Danny Manning, Marcus Camby, Jayson Williams, Antawn Jamison and Mitch Richmond.

Based on the parenthetical information that was required to confirm their celebrity credentials, the Hollywood lineup isn't as strong. Headliners include Tom Arnold, Ice Cube, Dan Cortese, Corbin Bernsen and a bunch of Baldwins (actually, just Stephen and Daniel).

According to the press release, "more names are being added daily." It didn't say if any names would be subtracted.

The highlight of the event will be a 3-on-3 tournament at UNLV at 3 p.m. Sunday and a Saturday night dinner roast at the Hard Rock honoring Arnold and UNLV coach Bill Bayno. (I guess the other Arnold from "True Lies" -- Schwarzenegger -- and Dean Smith are being feted at another Hard Rock.)

Proceeds will go toward the Eras Center, a Los Angeles-based nonprofit organization specializing in education and other services for "at-risk" persons.

* SHOCKED JOCK: Radio personality Howard Stern was stunned that his new buddy, heavyweight pretender Shannon Briggs, could do no better than a draw against Frans Botha in their 10-round fight in Atlantic City Saturday night.

Briggs told Stern he would strip naked and wear a dunce cap if he lost to Botha, so he can thank the generous judges for keeping his private parts under wraps. But he showed up on Stern's show Monday morning nonetheless and wound up being TKO'd by a constant barrage of good-natured verbal jabs from the host.

Stern chided Briggs for getting his (butt) kicked by a "fat white guy" and suggested that Briggs, who is glib and entertaining for a fighter, hang up his gloves and become a male model.

"You need the 'Eye of the Tiger,' " Stern told Briggs. "Saturday, you had the eye of Stevie Wonder."

Robin Quivers, Stern's sidekick, watched the fight from ringside as Briggs' guest.

* AROUND THE HORN: You could almost understand if a sprinter or shot put guy or someone like that tested positive for drugs and were banned from international competition. But a synchronized swimmer? American Tracy Bonner received a one-year sanction Monday after testing positive for dextroamphetamine. ... The Showboat Bowling Center will reserve lanes 71-74 on Sept. 4 (and possibly beyond) for Thomas Becker's assault on the Guinness Book of Records standard for consecutive number of hours bowled. Becker, a Colorado Springs native, is chasing his own mark of 25 hours and 15 minutes, during which he bowled 255 games and averaged a modest 127.9. For obvious reasons, he skipped most of the beer frames. ... The only bowling Tom Mack did during his NFL career centered on the Pro Bowl in Hawaii. But the Lake Las Vegas resident and new member of the Pro Football Hall of Fame, who never missed a game during his 14-year career, set another longevity mark Saturday: most thank-yous during an induction speech. Mack even thanked his dentist (honest) during Saturday's ceremony in Canton, Ohio. ... The Oakland Raiders are getting a lot of publicity over their new season ticket campaign, featuring "normal" appearing season ticket holders (and not the biker types and other hooligans the team is notorious for attracting) with black bars drawn across their eyes -- like in the old detective magazines. "Of course we go," reads the copy on one of the ads, featuring a husband and wife, "but our friends think we're in Sonoma."