‘Money,’ Honey: A Sun reporter chronicles the adventure as his wife attempts to’Win Ben Stein’s Money’

Bill Gang

Tuesday, Aug. 3, 1999 | 9:11 a.m.

"I'm not weird enough for this show," my wife, Pam Gang, said apprehensively as she watched an episode of the popular Comedy Central quiz show "Win Ben Stein's Money."

I assured her she was.

The object was to bolster her confidence because she had been accepted as a contestant and an April date to tape the show was set. (The episode airs at 7:30 tonight on Cox cable channel 24.)

Instinctively she knew what I meant and what I didn't mean. I was grateful for that since I, like most husbands, have a gender-driven counter-instinctive ability to dig a big hole, jump in and pull the earth down on top of me.

"Win Ben Stein's Money" is one of Comedy Central's hits, an Emmy Award-winning, offbeat comedy show masquerading as a quiz show and built around enigmatic actor Ben Stein. He was the droll teacher in "Ferris Beuller's Day Off" and played similar characters in other films and television shows.

On his namesake show, he gets to show off his wide-ranging arsenal of trivial knowledge and capitalize on his experiences during his stint as a speech writer for President Richard Nixon -- which probably explains much of his peculiar sense of humor -- and as a lawyer in his younger years for the Federal Trade Commission in Washington, D.C.

The name of the show is "Win Ben Stein's Money" because a $5,000 purse is put up at the beginning of each of the 130 shows a season, and Stein gets to keep whatever the contestants don't win.

There are three contestants, and the finalist gets to keep whatever is won at the end of two rounds. The losers get semi-lovely parting gifts. Then the finalist gets to go head-to-head with Stein for the entire $5,000 in a best-of-10-question session. A tie with Stein garners an extra $1,000.

But Stein wins about two-thirds of the time.

That's not surprising because the shows, by their nature, are stress-filled situations familiar to Stein but not to the contestants. Lights, cameras, action and then inaction during frequent delays that only add to the stress levels.

Perhaps the outcome of the final round also is influenced by the intimidatingly tacky little booth the contestant is forced to use. A burned rug and crumbling plaster on the wall was added the third season to complement the bare-bulb lighting fixture and simple stool. By contrast, Stein's booth is decorated in a plush Victorian style with a lounge chair and a chandelier.

In the episode before Pam's an amazingly arrogant Los Angeles lawyer made the finals but crumbled to defeat. Actually, he sweated to defeat. An amazing amount of sweat. An embarrassing amount of sweat. I had to wonder what he was like in a day-long trial with a bad case he was trying to sell to a bored jury.

Before Pam's episode Stein had won 32 straight contests. By then even the staff was rooting for the contestants.

Before Pam's episode!

Of course, Stein always wears his lucky, dirt brown, grandpa-style sneakers. Not the cool kind, but then, what kind would fit with his overly-conservative suits?

Pam said he also has his lucky Tagamet and lucky other-similar-stomach-medication that he slurps regularly during the tapings.

"He's a gastroenterologist's dream," she said, noting that he almost didn't make the taping of her segment -- the last of four that April day -- "because he was having a Maalox moment."

Getting on the show isn't easy, even for someone with a high weirdness quotient.

For 130 episodes they need 390 contestants. To get them, show staffers Terrance Martin and Jane Roleshek interviewed more than 1,000 people in person after sorting through thousands of e-mails from wannabe contestants across the country. They searched for the most promising intellects shaded by that coveted goofy side. They concentrate on California, Nevada, New Mexico and Arizona because there is no travel money. They say there is a risk in looking further east because of the decreasing likelihood that applicants will show up at the KTLA studio in Los Angeles.

Weirdness doesn't even come into play until after two intelligence tests are passed -- basically a series of questions such as those asked on the show. The first test is administered over the telephone and if an applicant can't answer five of 10, there is a quick "thanks, but no thanks."

Pam, a paralegal and law office administrator, was correct on all 10, which entitled her to a trip to Los Angeles -- at her own expense -- for a 30-question test and then a live interview and a mock show.

This is where those, um, personal peculiarities that have been a burden throughout life actually become a plus. Fortunately there aren't any of those embarrassingly inbred, banjo-pickin,' Jerry Springer guest kind of weirdos. The knowledge tests generally cull out those.

After that, anything goes.

Has anybody been too goofy for "Win Ben Stein's Money"?

"There is no such thing as too weird," said Harve Selsby, the show's talent executive who is in charge of contestant wrangling.

He and his staff have to work just as hard after contestants are selected as they do to make the selections. The problem is that a certain percentage simply won't appear for the tapings. Too busy, lost interest, too stressful, something.

Repeated telephone contacts by Martin and Roleshek keep the contestants interested and connected. Selsby said that as a result, the percentage of no-shows is lower than most other game shows.

Taping of the show begins in the morning with the audience filing through a metal detector and then being seated under the watchful eye of several staff members. The audience on Pam's day was entertained by a quasi-comedian named Mark Wahlberg, who is not the rock 'n' roll and "Boogie Nights" guy.

He urged " 'Ben Stein'-big applause, not 'Jeopardy'-nice applause." There is a definite rivalry with the long-running quiz show or, at least, resentment.

While the shows on television seem to click along nonstop, such is not the case in the studio. There are breaks. There are pauses. There are delays for myriad reasons that make it difficult to fit the shooting of four half-hour shows into a single day.

In the midst of one show Stein asked a question and a contestant gave an answer that was close if not exactly what was expected.

"Judges?" Stein said inquisitively in his monotone voice to the staff that must rule on such issues. The inquiry usually is followed by a "ding" of acceptance or a buzz.

There was just a pregnant pause. That resulted in a delay of several minutes while the question was researched by what Wahlberg said was either "a crack research staff or a research staff on crack."

Even a seemingly minor problem can't seem to be resolved expeditiously. It appears a cauldron of technical mumbo-jumbo must be stirred each time there is a break. During these breaks Stein stays focused by studying a small dictionary.

Fortunately, there was Wahlberg to explain what was going on, tell jokes, make fun of some of the more vulnerable audience members and give away gifts.

Finally it was Pam's turn and she was pitted against Wilson, who described himself as a "quintessential Asian," and John, who didn't make it through the first round and was replaced in the second round by Stein himself, as is the structure of the show.

Questions in the second round are asked by Stein's sidekick Jimmy Kimmel -- also of "The Man Show" -- who jabs contestants with sarcastic put-downs. More pressure -- advantage Ben.

Kimmel spent his younger years in Las Vegas and graduated from Clark High School. He explained to the audience that since Pam had graduated from Las Vegas High School, they are rivals.

Stein said that Las Vegas is also one of his favorite haunts. He stays at the Mirage hotel-casino and eats frequently at the Palm Restaurant in the Forum Shops, where people recognize him.

Pam held her own in the second round but so did Wilson, who maintained about a $200 lead despite being so nervous that he actually was shaking. Time was running out. The last few questions all seemed to be worth $300. Answer one and she's in the finals.

She said she knew each of the answers, but each time Stein was a split second faster on the buzzer. He gets a lot of practice.

For weeks before her taping she had played along with the contestants on television and had practiced her buzzing technique with a tube of lip balm with the cap slightly raised to simulate the buzzer.

But it wasn't enough. Her thumb had lost whatever it is the thumb had to begin with, and Wilson maintained his lead to transfer to the final.

There, in his tacky little booth, Wilson was alone with his questions and answers. No buzzers, no competition, just questions and answers. And he was very, very good at questions and answers.

He decisively ended Stein's 32-game winning streak. Selslby, Martin and Roleshek cheered for their contestant as fake cash floated down from the rafters in the traditional celebration.

As for Pam, they promised to ship her the semi-lovely parting gift. She is still waiting.

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