Columnist Sandra Thompson: Mediation - often more valuable than getting a day in court

Sandra Thompson

Saturday, Sept. 26, 1998 | 3:07 a.m.

SOMETIMES people just want to spill their guts and vent. Other times, they sit back and listen. On occasion, there are fisticuffs.

Welcome to the Family Mediation Center.

The center (formerly known as FMAC, the Family Assessment and Mediation Center) is, as its name implies, solely focused on mediation since the 1997 Legislature passed a law mandating mediation in child custody and access disputes.

It's a less adversarial environment than a courtroom, where the focus is on the warring parents and where communication often is only between a judge and attorneys.

"Sometimes in the court process, kids get lost," says LaDeana Gamble, manager of the FMC.

In the courtroom, the judge makes the final decision on custody-related matters, which often is objectionable to one parent. Would you as a parent want someone else making decisions about your child's life? In mediation, the parents themselves work out a plan, which is agreeable to both.

When the center also handled assessment of Family Court cases, it couldn't keep up with the increasing caseload. Gamble says the staff operated in a crisis mode.

Focusing solely on mediation, the center has a better handle on cases now. From Oct. 1, 1997, through July 27 of this year, 677 cases were ordered to mediation. Of that number, 404 signed agreements for a 60 percent success rate.

That's a significant achievement and a positive step in a Family Court that's trying to be more responsive to the people it serves.

As the court, clients and attorneys become more comfortable with settling disputes through mediation -- rather than arguing in a courtroom -- the numbers should increase. Gamble says that in July alone, 120 families were referred to FMC.

FMC has one part-time and nine full-time mediators. Most parents take only two sessions (about four hours) to reach an agreement.

Clients pay a flat fee on a sliding scale. Fees are waived for people on welfare, then range from $50 per person for those making less than $12,000 a year and $100 per parent for under $25,000, to $200 for those earning more than $50,000.

Gamble says the majority of clients pay $100 regardless of the number of sessions. That's certainly easier to handle than thousands of dollars in attorney's fees.

Not all attorneys have embraced mediation as a way of settling custody disputes, Gamble says, adding that it will take time. FMC conducts training sessions for attorneys.

Mediators do not give legal advice. They simply help the parents settle a custody or other child-related dispute. The majority of a session may be spent just listening to the parents' feelings.

"Families think they will get their day in court and spill their guts," says Joyce Gallina, a family specialist who is a mediator with FMC. Instead, the judge talks to their attorneys and the families feel no one is listening to them in court.

During a recent mediation session, Gallina helped two parents work out an agreement, to be signed by both, on expanding the time the father was with the child. The three of them sat in a comfortable office rather than on opposite sides of a table in a stark conference room.

Although the current custody arrangement has worked fairly well, Gallina suggested they put in writing the days and holidays the child will spend with each parent. The more specific, the better the custody plan, she says.

The couple is not the norm; they pretty much agree on the time they share with their child. Gallina complimented them for putting the child's needs first.

That's usually not the case. Many ex-spouses still feel pain and anger, and they take it out on the other through the child.

As a mediator, Gallina is not there to point fingers of blame, but to help the parents redirect their focus on the child.

FMC only handles custody-related issues. Private mediators can settle divorce property disputes. The parenting plan that's agreed to in mediation is not a court order, but when approved by the judge it becomes part of the order.

One significant aspect to note is that everything that takes place during the mediation session is confidential and can't be used in any court of law. The records cannot be subpoenaed. Only the agreed-to parenting plan is made part of a court file.

Mediation should ease the Family Court case burden and allow judges more time to hear the most contentious cases. Also, as the numbers of people representing themselves in court grow, so will the need for mediation.

Gallina sums it up best: "Mediation should be the first resort -- not the last."