People in the News for May 18, 1998

Monday, May 18, 1998 | 10:01 a.m.

Arise, Sir Polite Applause! Bob Hope went gently into that good knighthood Sunday at the British embassy in Washington, D.C., where he was made an honorary English knight. As to whether that means he gets his own sword, we're not sure. We do know it's the umpteenth career-summation style award for the 95-year-old comedian, who was born in Britain as Leslie Townes but raised in America. He rarely gets out now, except to accept accolades, and he's reportedly verging on deafness and blindness, but his wife, Dolores, says he's doing fine, really fine. "He's doing fine," she says. "Really fine, thank God." Her optimism appears bolstered not by chipper medical reports or the considered opinions of gerontologists, but by a more fundamental measure of a man's zest for life: "He can hit the golf ball, it's amazing," she says. "He gets in three holes of golf a day." Adds Hope, "I'm getting faster at 95. After I hit my tee shot, it doesn't take me nearly as long to walk to the ball." Ah, but age plays havoc with more than your long game. Says a former Hope joke writer, "Sometimes you're not sure he's going to remember you. But the interesting thing is when you see him, you can still see that spark. The light comes on inside and he comes back at you."

Grad habits

It's spring, and a young man's thoughts turn to anything, anything at all to escape the drone of dull platitudes from the speaker up on the college graduation platform:

There you have it, kids, the keys to success: Forget money, the best theology is a mean right hook and, heck, be nice. Knock 'em dead, class of '98!

We hate to be the ones to tell you this, but Jeff Foxworthy still hasn't run out of material for his "you might be a redneck if ..." gags. "The fun thing for me is that now, when I go through airports, I get people from Saudi Arabia coming up to me saying, 'I'm a redneck,"' Foxworthy says. Middle Eastern rednecks -- now there's a career highlight. Can jokes about broken camels in the yard be long away? It's just that redneckery is so darn universal! "If you use the definition I always use -- it's a glorious absence of sophistication -- it's kind of gotten all-inclusive," he says. Because what America needs is a less sophisticated populace -- the better to be thrilled by lame redneck shtick. They're undoubtedly warming up a Foxworthy knighthood already.

Compiled by Scott Dickensheets