People in the News for May 8, 1998

Friday, May 8, 1998 | 10:41 a.m.

Ah, the chair-bashed noses, the confronted transvestites, the families reunited on camera -- has it really been 2,163 Geraldo Rivera talk shows already? Indeed it has, and on Thursday he taped his much-unheralded finale; Geraldo is leaving daytime talk for the uptown neighborhood of NBC News. Amid champagne bubbles and, we're certain, barely restrained tears, Rivera reviewed his 11 years in the vanguard of pop culture decline. Neo-nazis, sexual deviants, O.J. Simpson -- what a long, strange clip it's been; we're still highlight reeling. As is Geraldo. "I feel on this day very curious," he said, barely able to form sentences. "On the one hand, I feel very optimistic about the future. On the other hand, I feel very wistful, sad and nostalgic for the days gone by." Nonetheless, after a decade, Geraldo let us in on a little secret: He never really liked it! That sort of deep self-understanding begs to be expressed not as candid revelation or even as a careful philosophic summing-up, but rather by way of self-aggrandizing comparison: "I always felt like Michael Jordan must have felt playing baseball," he said. "It wasn't my strong suit, dealing with a live audience and topics that tended to be ... touchy-feely." There will be none of that as he ascends to NBC News, where, presumably, he will know how Michael Jordan feels playing basketball. And America sighs, looks wistful, sad and nostalgic, and says, OK, fine. What channel is Jerry Springer on?

Short stuff

You just can't slip anything past that sharp-eyed Kirk Douglas: "We have entered the tabloid era," he announced Thursday in an op-ed piece for the Los Angeles Times. By God, he's right! Geraldo Rivera, Jerry Springer, the Lewinsky affair -- it suddenly makes sense! Douglas recalls his son Michael voicing a desire to "do something for my country." "Go into politics," Kirk suggested. Michael was amused; you can almost hear him patting Pop gently on the head. "Politics? And have them bring out that I smoked pot in college and I inhaled!" And there you have it, the tragedy of the tabloid era: It keeps actors out of politics. Still, no doubt feeling like Michael Jordan selling Nikes, Douglas is upbeat about the future: "We must have hope in our children. They will overcome the tabloid era and fulfill the promise of America." Yeah, it's touchy-feely, but under the circumstances, what can you do?

Compiled by Scott Dickensheets