Dial File: Finale fever reveals lessons in TV timing

Thursday, May 7, 1998 | 10:17 a.m.

A FUNNY THING Happened On The Way To Finales:

A proudly, defiantly irrelevant show became the height of relevance, while shows oozing relevance became, well, largely irrelevant.

The relevant references are, of course, to three landmark series that end their runs during May sweeps: "Ellen" (Wednesday), "Seinfeld" (next Thursday) and "Murphy Brown" (May 18).

You may have heard about "Seinfeld," which William Shakespeare might have dubbed "Much Ado About Nothing." You may have heard about"Ellen," which managed to turn a garden-variety sitcom into a socio-politico manifesto and pop culture hot potato. And speaking of potatoes -- did I spell that correctly? -- you probably heard about "Murphy Brown," which, during what seems like a lifetime ago, could have been nicknamed "Murphy, Dan Quayle and a Baby."

All of them provide lessons in timing and irony.

"Seinfeld," of course, is the ultimate irony, a show about "nothing" -- well, actually, about life's small, silly situations -- as opposed to fellow departees "Murphy Brown" (about the postmodern feminist) and "Ellen" (about gay pride and acceptance). Heck, its hysterical hype is rivaling that of the last episode of "M*A*S*H," a show that was certainly about something (the horror of war) -- "Seinfeld's" ironic icing on the cake.

"Seinfeld" was the perfect show for its time. Born on the cusp of the '90s, it was a smirky, not-much-of-anything (albeit brilliantly funny) show for a smirky, not-much-of-anything decade, as opposed to the social activist '60s, the hedonistic '70s and the greed-is-good '80s. The ultimate time-killer sitcom as we all kill time, waiting for the new millennium.

And when the millennium's first decade descends -- perhaps carrying with it a historical sense of renewal and purpose -- it will be a tiny, but fascinating footnote to see how "Seinfeld" fares in its eternal hereafter in reruns. Will we still crave the craven selfishness of Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer, or will they be hopelessly out of tune with the new times?

"Ellen," on the other hand, was a concept ahead of its time, in a show behind the times. A "Seinfeld" knockoff when it was created as "These Friends of Mine," it mimicked "Seinfeld's" minutiae-minded aesthetic, but without the laser-sharp wit, despite the presence of DeGeneres, a fabulous stand-up whose shtick didn't translate to sitcoms.

It was about less than nothing, too trivial even for the trivial '90s. Then, in a pop culture heartbeat, it became about something huge : being gay and proud in America, a country that isn't as ready for a gay-themed sitcom -- yet -- as some would hope. After curiosity fueled the famous coming-out episode, ratings sank back into oblivion, and the star turned sullen, perhaps understandably so, and lashed out at ABC, a network playing to its audience, as business dictates.

With sharper, funnier writing, coupled with social strides and a more seasoned, comfortable-with-herself star, "Ellen" could have been the sitcom for a new millennium. Instead, it will have to settle for forerunner status.

"Murphy Brown" -- clearly created in the '80s as Feminism's Answer to Republicanism -- was a political battle cry with a laugh track, a show more of its time than any other, a strident nose-thumbing to the Reagan-Bush/ Bush-Quayle crowd. It hit its zenith with Murphy's (Candice Bergen) single motherhood, which triggered a famous blast of pious criticism -- and political opportunism -- from Quayle. That turned it into a white-hot social statement, a cachet that wasn't duplicated until "Ellen" waltzed out of the closet.

Then, "Murphy" drifted into the ideologically murkier Clinton/Gore years, lost its focus -- and its point. "Ellen," a show about Something, hit before its time. "Murphy," a show about Something, lingered after it's time had past.

At this point in the pop culture timeline, the perfect thing to be about is Nothing.

SURFIN' THE SCENE: This week's outstanding installment of "Ally McBeal" featured a fantasy sequence with office workers bursting into glorious song-and-dance to a Fifth Dimension tune. Producers, take note: Broadcast TV desperately needs a series with a song in its heart -- yes, I'm talking musical -- instead of another show or two or 12 with blood on its hands or sex on the brain.

After all, the memory of "Cop Rock" -- a surreal stew of all three -- has sufficiently subsided. ...

The FX cable network, moving into original programming to keep pace with cable competitors, announced two new series: LV headliners Penn & Teller will debut a variety hour in September, preceded, in June, by manic comedian Bobcat Goldthwait's new show, titled ... "Bobcat's Big Ass Show."

OK, time out: Like it or not, "ass" regrettably found a home on the tube, eventually migrating from adult-oriented 10 p.m. shows to kid-accessible 8 p.m. shows. But at least you had to tune in to hear it. Now, however, we can enjoy this three-letter endearment in TV listings and promos.

FX, you're a giant pain in the ... rump.

THIS & THAT: With the debut of Channel 5's new 10 p.m. newscast on June 1, Lillian McMorris' "A.M. Southern Nevada" will end its weekday run on May 31. After what the station calls "a brief hiatus," the show will return with an hourlong weekend edition. ... Las Vegas posted several wins in the 1998 Regional Edward R. Murrow Awards for excellence in electronic journalism, bestowed by the Radio-Television News Directors Association. Channel 8 took awards for investigative reporting and spot news coverage, while Channel 3 won in the news series division and Channel 10 got the nod for use of video. Regional winners are entered into RTNDA's national competition, which will be judged in June.

CROON A TUNE: Remember when Ron Howard had hair -- better known to his barber as "Happy Days"? Reader Lou Brown remembers when Howard -- one of the nicest and most talented people in Hollywood, hirsute or hairless -- starred in that sitcom, and Lou fingered it as the theme song featuring the singing of the seven days of the week, interspersed with the show's title. We're groovin' all week with you, Lou.

Next? What theme paints this dashing, debonair mental picture: "Scrambled eggs all over my face" ? Be the first to unscramble that one -- by either phone or e-mail, we're not fussy -- and you'll find your name served up fresh and hot on the Croon-A-Tune griddle. As always, make sure that the spelling of your name and a daytime phone number are on the menu.

And thanks for dining with us here at the International House of Dial File.

TV'S A GAS: The concept of "place-based" TV -- the tube sprouting like a fungus at airports, supermarkets, etc. (or, if you prefer, "You-Can-Run-But-You-Can't-Hide-TV") -- is now extending its tentacles into ... gas stations?

Yep. Electronic Media magazine reports that CNN's Headline News is popping up on tiny video screens on gas pumps at a Texaco station in North Bend, Wash., outside of Seattle. Apparently, you can trust your car -- but not your cable feed -- to the lads who wear the star, since those petrol jockeys are pumping Headline News without permission. However, EM says that Turner Broadcasting System is indeed negotiating with an Atlanta firm to put a TV in your tank at certain stations.

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