‘Not Tonight: I Have Cerebral Palsy’

Anne Hosier

Friday, March 20, 1998 | 9:35 a.m.

The critics said few people would want to watch a cerebral palsy-afflicted comedian with a slow, slurred speech pattern and spastic, shaky limbs.

They were wrong.

Still, as Chris "Crazy Legs" Fonseca shuffles his way onstage, often to the tune of Jerry Lee Lewis' "Whole Lot of Shakin' Going On," he likes to offer audiences a disclaimer:

"I'm Mexican and I'm handicapped and if you make me mad, I'll pull a knife and we'll both get hurt."

He also extends an apology to any audience member who happens to be from Arkansas:

"I can't talk any slower."

By the time he's wrapped up his routine -- in which he delivers wisecracks at the expense of everyone from postal workers to ex-wives -- Fonseca is hardly the only one in the room weak in the knees.

"He's a great comic," says George Schlatter, a writer, producer and director, who created "Laugh-In," and produces the American Comedy Awards. "He puts life in a different perspective in a very positive way.

"That's what humor is all about."

This week Fonseca takes his show to the Improv at Harrah's Las Vegas, where he headlines through Sunday. ("He should headline," Schlatter says. "But I wouldn't let him serve you soup.") Though Fonseca has played the Strip on many occasions during his 13 years in stand-up -- or sit-down, as the case may be -- right now he's at a particularly exciting point in his career.

In just the past 14 months, he's made his first appearance on "Late Show With David Letterman," performed at the Just For Laughs International Comedy Festival in Montreal -- the largest, most prestigious comedy event in the world -- and appeared at the Latino Laugh Festival in San Antonio, where he recorded his first comedy CD (entitled "Not Tonight, I Have Cerebral Palsy," it was released earlier this year.) He also was asked to perform alongside stars such as Robin Williams, Glenn Close, Stevie Wonder, John Lithgow, Ted Danson and Gloria Estefan at the tribute to actor Christopher Reeves, which aired several weeks ago on ABC.

"(I'm) just getting more notoriety," Fonseca says. "It's almost like a new beginning in several ways."

During the taping of the Reeves tribute, Fonseca drew praise not only from Reeves, but from comedian Robin Williams. "Robin Williams just absolutely adored Chris," Schlatter says. "Chris went in there and he just was wonderful -- the audience loved him."

For the small-town Colorado boy who had once been too intimidated to pursue his dream of becoming a disc jockey, the scene proved overwhelming. Gazing at the star-studded cast around him, Fonseca couldn't help but wonder: " 'How did I get here?'

Because there certainly were obstacles. Comedy is not something where you automatically move up the ranks. There are people who have been doing this a lot longer than I have who haven't gotten the exposure I've gotten."

As a child growing up in Fort Morgan, Colo., Fonseca dreamed of becoming a radio personality "because that was basically my perception of comedy growing up." But Fonseca's cerebral palsy, the result of a traumatic birth that killed his mother and deprived his brain of oxygen for a critical period of time, slurred his speech, making his goal seem unattainable.

By the time he was attending the University of Northern Colorado on a Dow Jones scholarship, Fonseca had turned his attention to journalism, "thinking that by writing columns, I could still use my sense of humor and writing ability."

Fonseca earned several collegiate press association awards, and was even named college Journalist of the Year. But when it came to landing the much-coveted job as editor of the college newspaper, he kept getting passed over. "A lot of it seemed to center on my disability," he says. "I know it kind of sounds like sour grapes, but at the time, I was really well-qualified and experienced. And I thought, 'well if this is going to happen at a campus paper, it's bound to happen in the real world, too.' "

At the time, Fonseca was already dabbling in comedy, appearing at open mike nights, and starring in a campus production of "The Gong Show." "And I thought, maybe this is a way to turn the tables on the situation. Because in comedy the disability made me stand out."

Schlatter, who first met Fonseca several years ago while producing a segment on handicapped comedians for the American Comedy Awards, concedes that "there's a normal reluctance in television to hire handicapped people because they don't 'test' well or something, right?" Schlatter laughs. "But (Fonseca) was wonderful! He may be physically challenged but he certainly isn't comedically, intellectually or spiritually (challenged)."

Somewhat ironically, one of Fonseca's big breaks came in the form of an appearance on "Baywatch."

"I played a stand-up comic who was at the beach doing shows, but I couldn't get to the beach because there was no (handicapped) access," he says. "As a protest, I handcuffed myself to Pamela Lee."

An adult-rated version of the shooting of the scene turns up in Fonseca's comedy routine. But during an interview, Fonseca offers a tamer assessment of his co-star. "(Pamela Lee) was very nice. I was kind of surprised, because with these sex symbol-type people, you kind of have to wonder what they're like. But she's very down-to-earth."

At the same time that Fonseca's disability provides him with a steady flow of grist for the comedy mill, it's also landed him in some awkward positions.

During one show, for example, an overly-eager emcee unexpectedly scooped the startled comic up and carried him onstage.

"He meant well, but he was almost doing more damage than good," Fonseca says, laughing. "We almost ended up on top of each other."

Fonseca also has a tough time impressing on people that cerebral palsy is not the same thing as being mentally disabled. "If I had a dollar for every time I've tried to order a pizza from a hotel room and ended up being on the phone for like 20 minutes ... " he says. "I've had people actually say 'You need to ask your mommy if you can have a pizza.' It's really frustrating."

But Fonseca is hardly unarmed in the battle of wits.

When a particularly annoying fan kept yelling "You look like Elvis! You look like Elvis," Fonseca, who concedes a certain resemblance -- "I'm kind of heavy" -- finally shot back: "Then shut up and help me off the bathroom floor."