Editorial: Lessons not just for the newlyweds

Friday, June 5, 1998 | 10:55 a.m.

Admittedly, most people born in the latter half of this century would have a tough time comprehending the premarital dating ritual during the Santangelos' generation. When Peter was 14, his father started persuading him that he should marry Carmela when they were old enough because they knew each other and both were responsible. And when they went out on a date, Carmela's grandmother was with them. "I didn't have my first kiss till after I was married," Carmela told Sun reporter Jerry Fink.

Even if such courtship seems foreign today, it is evident their marriage has prospered and their love has been lasting. "We're just as happy today as then," Carmela said. One of the most important lessons the couple offers is the need for compromise. "Marriage is not always smooth," Carmela said. Peter added that there has to be give-and-take, "but you can't tell that to these young kids."

Many people experience difficulties because they ignore the virtues of patience and compromise, which are necessary ingredients of success in every endeavor of life -- whether it is in your work or your family life.

No one should advocate that people stay in genuinely bad marriages. But couples too often take the easy way out and get divorced instead of working through their problems. It would do all married couples, and couples contemplating marriage, well to take a few moments and listen to the Santangelos' common sense advice.

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