Forklift driver claims she was stripped of Mrs. Nevada title because she was too fat

Friday, July 31, 1998 | 12:56 p.m.

Ruthan Grider said she was banned from the national pageant by Loni Kallay, director of Mrs. America pageants in Nevada and California, even though she lost 30 pounds in two months.

"She (Kallay) said I was too fat, that she didn't want me to embarrass her and the pageant after it took her all these years to get her franchise," said Grider, a 37-year-old grandmother and mother of two.

"It was not only heart-wrenching, it was degrading," said Grider, who drives a forklift at construction sites with her husband, John, a construction foreman.

Kallay, though, strongly denied that she ever told Grider her weight kept her from being Nevada's representative in the Mrs. America pageant.

Kallay claimed Grider violated terms of a contract by not returning phone calls and by not letting her know when and where she would be making public appearances.

"She got the whole thing just totally misinterpreted," Kallay said. "She was supposed to keep in close contact with me. I called her (and) they said she was out in the field. We couldn't get a hold of her. I (sent) several faxes. This is the reason she was removed from the Mrs. Nevada. Not because she's overweight."

The 51 Mrs. America contestants will meet Saturday at New York-New York to begin more than a week of activities and rehearsals culminating in a new Mrs. America on Aug. 10.

Grider will not be among them, despite her husband's feelings that she would win.

"I think she's queen quality," John Grider said. "She's beautiful, she loves working with kids, she's active in schools. It really broke my heart when they told her no."

Kallay, through an Irvine, Calif., attorney sent Grider a warning letter on July 16 telling her to call by the next night. Failure to do so would mean forfeiting her title.

On July 20, the attorney wrote a short note to Grider: "Mrs. Kallay informs me that it was mutually decided and agreed that you would not be competing in the pageant."

Kallay also said Grider was "not acting with as much dignity as someone should" in her position.

"It's very important for her to be at her best behavior at all times," she said.

"I thought, as a total person, she was a beautiful person. I thought she had some things she needed to overcome," Kallay said. "She is severely suffering from a self-esteem issue."

Grider said it's not her self-esteem but her pride that is hurt. Especially since she was crowned Mrs. Nevada in May when her 5-foot-1 frame weighed about 175 pounds.

Kallay, she said, advised her to lose weight.

By early July, with help of a new diet she was down to 143 pounds, from a size 14 to a size 9.

"But 143 wasn't good enough," Grider said. "I told her I could lose eight more pounds. She said, 'I can't take that chance.' "

"She came right to my face and said she wasn't going to send a fat person to lose," Grider said.

Representing Nevada in Grider's place will be Terrie Sayre of State Line. Kallay said Sayre "came highly recommended."

Grider was runner-up in the 1996 Mrs. Nevada contest. She was crowned Mrs. Nevada 1998, Kallay said, when the winner got transferred to a military base in Alabama.

"She was a runner-up a few years back; that's what we usually do," she said of Grider. "I didn't have anyone knocking down the door wanting to be Mrs. Nevada."