People in the News for January 16, 1998

Friday, Jan. 16, 1998 | 9:54 a.m.

Newt Gingrich got a taste of life behind the Irony Curtain during a recent sortie into the heart of Red Hollywood. He visited town to rally the conservative resistance. With a hearty Ich bin ein Hollywood Republican, he saluted Charlton Heston and discussed his political agenda during a breakfast meeting of the Wednesday Morning Club; such is his charismatic power that it convened on Thursday just to hear him. The club aims to "encourage diversity of thought and broaden debate" within show business, which, as you know, is dominated by champagne Marxists and tickled pinkos -- commie liberalism, thy name is Streisand! Among the several hundred writers, producers and actors on hand were show-biz powerhouses like Tony Danza and Kurt Russell. Gingrich praised Heston for his political involvement, particularly his early opposition to nuclear disarmament -- can't those gun-banning Marxist weenies see that if the other side has the ability to destroy the world 20 times over and you settle for a paltry 10, you're screwed? Our man Heston understood! "Thank you for all you've done," Gingrich told him.

Briefly

Imagine you work at the Vons in La Verne, Calif. -- you're a junior assistant produce manager or perhaps the kid who straightens the shelves -- when three gunmen injure several of your co-workers Thursday. Traumatized, you're taken to the nearby police station for counseling. Man, you're thirsty! An inmate on work detail shuffles over with a tray of cookies and punch, or maybe bottles of Frappuccino -- we just don't know. You look up. Why, isn't that celebrity inmate Robert Downey Jr.? No! It's that other celebrity inmate, whatsisname ... Christian Slater, on only his second day of incarceration! Would you like an Oreo? "Yeah, thanks. Hey, loved ya in 'Pump Up the Volume!"' Don't you feel better now?

Compiled by Scott Dickensheets