Dial File: Melange of madness and mea culpas

Thursday, Feb. 5, 1998 | 9:13 a.m.

INSANITY, FOLLOWED BY apologies, followed by ... insanity.

Or, as Herman's Hermits so pithily put it in their hit "I'm Henry the VIII, I Am": "Second verse, same as the first.".

The pattern remains intact, now that the hoo-ha over Zippergate/ Fornigate/Clinterngate has subsided: Media mea culpas and self-reflection follow the feeding frenzy just as day follows night and Bill Maher follows Ted Koppel.

Just as it did after O.J. Just as it did after Richard Jewel. Just as it did after Diana. Just as it did after Marv. Just as it will after the next Scandal Du Jour.

Way too much coverage. A "rush to judgment." Really, we should know better. The American public expects better of us. Doggone it, we WILL do better next time.

B-A-L-O-N-E-Y.

As Al Pacino's Michael Corleone put it in "The Godfather Part III": "What is the point of confessing my sins if I don't repent?" He was a cold-hearted murderer -- but at least he wasn't a hypocrite. If only those of us in the media could say likewise.

In polls, 75 percent of the public claims to be fed up by torrents of coverage. And ratings soar. There's that "H" word again.

So the media contemplates its navel and the public -- the same public, post-Diana, ready to stone the photographers who snap the pictures that send the tabloids flying off supermarket shelves but hey, I don't buy it -- wags its collective finger.

Self-examination is a noble thing -- until it devolves into self-parody.

Emblematic of this do-it-yourself autopsy was last week's CNN symposium titled "Media Madness," attended by media muckety-mucks and moderated by Jeff Greenfield, who asked, with no small amount of almost believable disdain: "What the hell are you people doing trying to find out what kind of sex the president does?"

Andrew Heyward, president of CBS News, and Richard Wald, a senior vice president with ABC News, agreed that what is "interesting" now trumps what is "important" when it comes to coverage decisions.

CBS's Dan Rather bemoaned having to abandon the Pope in Havana -- following Peter Jennings and Tom Brokaw -- to do his version of Bill-and-Monica-sittin'-in-a-tree, but noted: "I just didn't think it was practical to say no." With an almost palpable sense of heartbreak, he added: "It's about circulation and ratings. It's about competitive pressures."

He's right, of course -- an indictment of viewers and a convenient excuse for the media. Just call it media pile-on -- intense, indefatigable and inevitable, aided and abetted by public voraciousness -- and spare us all the public group therapy and transparent posturing.

How many times can the media -- silently encouraged by a public whose lips say no, eyes say yes, and clickers say GIMME GIMME GIMME! -- commit the same off-the-wall excesses, beg for absolution, then grab their surfboards and ride the next wild, wacky wave of "media madness"?

Sin is much more fun when it's gleeful, not guilt-stricken.

And besides: "What is the point of confessing our sins if we don't repent?"

SURFIN' THE SCENE: Southern Nevada teachers will participate in the KLVX Channel 10-National Teacher Training Institute on Friday and Saturday to learn how to use technology in their math and science class instruction. The sessions will be held at the Advanced Technologies Academy. ... Stunt driver Brian Carson will attempt to break his own 298-foot world record for "auto flight" at the Orleans hotel-casino at 8 p.m. Wednesday. It will be filmed for the Fox special "World Record Stunts." The public is invited. ...

Channel 3 continues to be news director-less with the departure of Roger Bell (the executive producer and managing editor are running things for now); and Las Vegas continues to be "Star Trek: Voyager"-less with the departure of UPN (although KVVU Channel 5 is trying to acquire "Voyager," which would give them a "Star Trek" hat trick with "Deep Space Nine" and "Next Generation" reruns). ... Who will replace Gwen Castaldi on the anchor desk -- station vets Kathryn Pritchard or Nina Radetich, or perhaps recently-hired-but-anchor-experienced Madeline Holland -- when Castaldi splits for the Fox folks in the spring? No word yet, but stay tuned ...

Industry buzz says a new consultant is trying to kick out the cobwebs at Channel 8, telling reporters to loosen up and "get active" in their live shots and stand-up reports. The station also added an "Eye-Catching Video" segment to its late news. ... Last Saturday, as the nation's longest strike ever ended at the Frontier, ownership shifted and 550 former workers walked through its doors again, Channels 8 and 13 went live with brief reports. The station Where News Comes First passed. ...

Now that Las Vegas, as previously reported here, is about to become a metered ratings market this fall, the selection process has begun for choosing a few hundred "metered" Southern Nevada families . ... During the February sweeps, look for Channel 3 to continue to fanatically flog its "Wheel of Fortune" in Vegas hysteria; Channel 8 to go giddy over the Winter Olympics; and Channel 13 to passionately plug the first-ever NASCAR main event at the Motor Speedway, which will zoom into our living rooms -- live -- in early March.

CROON A TUNE: As that Handyman of Hearts, Dwayne Schneider, would put it, please always remember and don't ever forget: "While you're here, enjoy the view; keep on doin' what'cha do; hold on tight, we'll muddle through."

How? Well, Tracy Pembroke knew that life should be lived -- and those lyrics signaled the theme of -- "One Day at a Time." Congrats to Tracy for remembering the days when Bonnie Franklin's Ann Romano set records for sitcom sobbing, Pat Harrington's Schneider turned tool belts into a fashion accessory and Valerie Bertinelli hadn't even met Eddie Van Halen or done the first of her 6,437 miniseries.

Next? Name those happy-go-lucky sitcomers who declared: "Give us any chance, we'll take it; read us any rule, we'll break it." You know the drill, Marine: Name, spelling, daytime number, via phone or e-mail. Answer it first and burst into Dial File. It's not exactly "Entertainment Tonight," but it's not "Chopped Liver Tonight" either.

THE DECADE THAT WOULDN'T DIE: What would survive a nuclear blast? Cockroaches and the '70s -- at least on the tube. First came word that Mary Tyler Moore would resurrect Mary Richards, putting cherished baby boomer memories at risk. Then came the discouraging words that "The Love Boat" would sail again, probably destined for a shipwreck on the new "Fantasy Island."

Now comes this nugget: A "Charlie's Angels" clone for the late '90s called "The D.R.E.A.M. Team" is being shopped around to stations for airing in the fall.

"The D.R.E.A.M. Team" is described thusly: "Three beautiful female agents, all supermodels, now part of a covert group called D.R.E.A.M. Team (Dangerous Reconnaissance Emergency Action Missions) whose sole purpose is to infiltrate and diffuse volatile situations, from counterespionage to international criminals and terrorists."

Suggestion: Since this is a Cloak & Dagger meets T&A series, hire Cindy Crawford to play a character named The Mole. Male viewers would contemplate infinite infiltration scenarios.

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