Columnist Steve Carp: WWF casino a pencil-neck geek’s heaven

Steve Carp

Tuesday, Aug. 11, 1998 | 9:50 a.m.

SO, VINCE MCMAHON is going into the casino business, is he?

The man who brought you Andre The Giant vs. Chuck Wepner, Hulkamania and The Grand Wizard is going to transform the Debbie Reynolds hotel-casino into the World Wrestling Federation's little gaming oasis.

At first, my reaction was, "Is he nuts?" Then I delved back to my youth, having grown up watching Killer Kowalski, Johnny Valentine and Baron Miguel Secluna, and realized that if McMahon can turn a redneck, beer-swilling brawler like Stone Cold Steve Austin into a national hero, why couldn't he make a profit in a casino?

I can see it now. You walk in amid the pyrotechnics and there's Bruno Sammartino greeting you at the door. You'd have your choice of playing "Backbreaker Blackjack," "Camel Clutch Craps" or "Torture Rack Roulette." And you wouldn't mess with the pit bosses for fear Bugsy McGraw might nail you with a piledriver or Baron Von Raschke would get you in The Claw.

Obviously, security wouldn't be a problem. Valet parking would be handled by the Road Warriors. Of course, you might not recognize your car when they return it to you, but hey, isn't that why we buy insurance?

If you're looking for entertainment, you could go into the twin cinemas that will show nothing but old wrestling shows. One would have vintage wrestling from the '50s and '60s so you can learn about guys like Gorgeous George and Verne Gagne. The other would show all the old pay-per-views, all the Wrestlemanias, Summer Slams, etc.

Of course, what casino these days doesn't have some sort of interactive attraction? The WWF will set up a ring and you too, can shave your head, cuss people out, give them the finger and essentially be Stone Cold Steve Austin. Or maybe you can be an announcer and do mock interviews.

There'll be a gift shop, naturally. But not only will you be able to buy all the T-shirts, do-rags, foam fingers and video games you could want, there'll be an oak tag store inside so you can build your own sign to take to the matches. Two years ago, they made a rule that said, "No sign, no admission" so the WWF will make it easy for you.

One-stop shopping -- what could be better?

Think about it. This really is a great idea McMahon has come up with. After all, if Las Vegas can have New York, Paris, Monte Carlo, ancient Rome and Egypt within its borders, why not the WWF? What's one more fantasy?

So what if 90 percent of the WWF's audience isn't old enough to loiter in a casino, much less make a bet? Surely, that won't stop McMahon & Co. Most of these 9-year-olds have at least one parent who is of age to gamble. And you know they've got money. Look at the millions of $25 T-shirts that have been purchased.

Wrestling may not be real, but one thing about it is true -- the owners aren't stupid. Why do you think it has endured over the decades? Why do you think it's the No. 1 show on cable TV?

So go for it, Vince. Just one concern. If someone makes a wager in your casino and wins, you are going to pay off with real money, aren't you?