Where I Stand — Father Herbert A. Ward Jr.: Children of Southern Nevada need positive role models

Monday, Aug. 10, 1998 | 10:54 a.m.

FIFTY YEARS AGO I was an 11-year-old skeptic being prepared for the solemn rites of confirmation and first Holy Communion. I, and the other 43 youngsters in my class, had to memorize pages of material including the long form of the Ten Commandments.

It was there that I first encountered the phrase "...visiting the sins of the fathers upon the children unto the third and the fourth generation..." (Exodus 20:5).

To this day I still recall my juvenile indignation at God that He would blame a baby for something a grandfather, or a great-grandfather, had done. One grandfather died when I was 7, and I never even met the other one nor any of my great-grandparents. Why should I be held responsible for something those old fogies with long white beards did before I was born?

Where is the justice in blaming a child for the stupid mistakes of his forebears? In the words of every aggrieved plaintiff since time began, I protested, "It's not fair!"

In 1970, following seminary and ordination, I became the executive director of St. Jude's Ranch for Children. Here I learned the real meaning of that phrase from Exodus. It's not about "blame." It's a simple statement of fact. The sins of the fathers are indeed visited on the children for three or four generations.

Reading case file after case file, I could not help but notice how often ruinous social pathology repeats itself. Toxic behavior patterns often appear to be cyclic in some family trees.

For example, in too many cases, a child who grows up with an alcoholic parent is more likely to become alcoholic. Malignant conduct can be transmitted. But the converse is also true. Good examples can beget good behaviors.

Folk wisdom enshrines sayings like "as the twig is bent so grows the tree," or "Monkey see, monkey do," or "An acorn doesn't fall far from the oak." I soon began asking myself if it is possible to break unhealthy behavioral cycles? Yes, I decided, it is. But how? The answer is "Very slowly!"

If you take a string and tie it into 10 knots as fast and as hard as you can, you can never untie it as rapidly as you tied it. Children with poor role models need first to unlearn bad habits of thinking before they can form new patterns of acting.

I don't have a degree in social work or child psychology or child-care facilities administration/management, although I certainly respect people who work at St. Jude's who are trained in those disciplines. What little I know, I got early in life from the common sense and honesty in my extended family -- parents, aunts and uncles -- all hard-working people.

To break the welfare syndrome, I developed activities, in the mid '70s, which generated a "workfare, not welfare" mentality. The keystone of this program, which has attracted national publicity, is greeting-card recycling. Even a young child can trim used cards and glue them on new backs for sale to make extra pocket money.

This simple action teaches throwaway children that throwaway items are valuable, and can be changed into something worthwhile. It also teaches them that getting a paycheck is based on doing some work first.

Recently, with the help of the Revell Company, children also began making model cars which are available to the public for sponsorship in the Ogorek Auto Gallery.

The children buy the kit at a nominal fee, which teaches them investment. Their completed product is judged and re-purchased by Mr. Ogorek, which teaches them to aim at high standards of workmanship, and the profit principle. Then when a sponsor adopts the car and it is placed on display, it gives the child a boost in self-esteem.

Working together with other kids teaches them tolerance toward those of different religious, ethnic and racial backgrounds. The children are learning the American work ethic, while having fun.

Ford Motor Company likes the results of our program so much they have given St. Jude's a challenge -- to be in 25 facilities by the year 2006.

In fact, Ford has helped us produce a short video on our "learn to earn" program entitled "The Heartbeat of Hope." It just won three regional Emmys and a national Telly award, and is available free by calling 294-7100.

Better still, come out to Boulder City and visit the St. Jude's campus. The welcome mat is always out. I'd love to show you how destructive family cycles are being broken -- and really great kids are being given a new chance at life.