Dial File: The naked truth ignites Kelley’s ‘Ally McBeal’

Thursday, Sept. 25, 1997 | 9:20 a.m.

WORDS ARE POWER.

Even on TV.

That's especially true when the words fall from the fertile brain of David E. Kelley -- Mr. Michelle Pfeiffer to you celebrity hounds -- but also the creative thrust behind such shows as "Picket Fences," "Chicago Hope" and "The Practice," with some time put in on a little trifle called "L.A. Law."

His latest is Fox's "Ally McBeal" (Mondays, 9 p.m., Channel 5) and it's a shimmering gem of a show. And, like all Kelley vehicles, one where the power of words and their grasp of the truth cut deep.

Ally, a single, insecure female lawyer played with ingratiating vulnerability by Calista Flockhart, deals with the daily pitfalls and pratfalls of life, love and business. Nothing new there. Heck, that premise could describe just about every show ever on the tube.

But Kelley's heroes always come closer to the truth than anyone else's. This show nails that -- especially the not-so-occasional chasms between what we say and what we really think by taking us inside her head to hear her brain contradict her mouth. And sometimes, Kelley's Ally just comes out with the truth -- splat!

Take last week's Kelley-written episode. Ally is outwardly calm but inwardly seething over a promising first-date who closed the evening with a peck on the cheek instead of a bona fide smacker. With all the politically correct chatter about how women should be treated -- remember the college that demanded that male students ask the permission of their dates at every step before making romantic gestures? -- Ally blurts out to her roommate:

"He couldn't paw me a little? I'm a sexual object, for God's sake! I couldn't get a little grope?"

As he did on "Picket Fences" -- a show that actually gave fundamentalist Christians and religious faith (in liberal Hollywood?) equal weight in storylines before it became fashionable in the "Touched By an Angel" age -- Kelley eschews dogma. He knows there is usually truth on both sides of most issues, and he's unafraid to give voice to both.

In that same episode, Kelley also took on local TV news and our cosmetic culture. In a lawsuit, Ally represents an aging, competent TV anchorwoman (Kate Jackson) who was fired after 15 years because, frankly, she's no longer babe-a-licious. Listen to Kelley's speech, delivered by the station manager on the stand:

"She is the finest broadcast journalist I've worked with -- ever! But there wasn't enough buzz on the Internet about wanting to see her naked. I even suggested a plan to replace everyone on the station with talking breasts. Our board voted it down, 11 to 9. Land of idiots."

A nifty indictment of TV shallowness, but then the defense attorney, an otherwise loathsome character, is allowed to cut to the point, telling the jury: "Let's face it -- looks count. People told me that I should grow a mustache, because the more of my face that's covered, the better. And with five zillion channels out there, don't they need that real knockout to make you drop that remote and go, 'Whoa!'"

A nifty indictment of our own shallowness. That's the truth. That's Kelley.

YOU'RE ON: "ER" goes live tonight -- not only to the East coast, but to us as well -- capping the season premiere of NBC's Thursday night lineup, with "Seinfeld," yada, yada, yada. See Mike Hughes' column, page 10D, for details.

OVER AND RAUCH: Channel 13 is losing weathercaster Randy Rauch, who is leaving next week to take a job at KSAZ-TV, a Fox affiliate in Phoenix. (Rauch came to Channel 13 from Tucson). The station will search for a weeknight replacement while Christine Mahoney and Elizabeth Havert do fill-in duty.

REMEMBERING RED: Much has been written about the gentle genius of Red Skelton, who left us last week. So many of us had our favorite Red characters. Mine were those silly seagulls, Gertrude and Heathcliff. Sure, they were a throwaway routine, but one that sent this mesmerized little viewer into delighted giggle fits.

Each week, I eagerly waited for Red to yank his hair into two clumpy cowlicks over his ears, cross his eyes, assume the flap position by tucking his hands under his armpits and utter some supremely -- and sublimely -- silly banter.

Amid the chaotic clutter of my TV memories, it is an image -- a kindly comedian and his cross-eyed quips -- that still fills me with warmth. The kind of sweet, G-rated warmth in stark contrast to today's "NYPD Blue"/Geraldo/ alphabet-soup-of-ratings world.

This was a man who will forever linger gently and affectionately among my sweetest TV memories. May God bless you, Red.

RADIO DAZE: As a reminder of how far we've fallen from Red to raunch, Howard Stern (heard locally on KXTE 107.5-FM) and the Federal Communications Commission are feuding again (272nd verse, same as the first). CBS, the new corporate boss of Mr. Private Parts, is protesting yet another fine, this one for $6,000, slapped on Stern's home base, New York station WXRK-FM, for alleged "indecency." This comes shortly after Stern's ex-boss, Infinity Broadcasting, Inc., settled a backlog of fines by dishing out $1.7 million to the U.S. Treasury. And the culture wars rage on. ...

Speaking of refined radio gentlemen, Stern simulator Mancow Muller, the Chicago-based rabble-rouser whose show is carried here by KEDG, 103.5-FM, ventures to Vegas on Oct. 4, at 11 a.m. in the Thomas & Mack parking lot. He'll broadcast live along with his charmingly named sidekick, Turd, and the rest of the station's DJs will also be on hand.

If that's not enough to entice you, Mancow will be giving away cash.

CROON A TUNE: We've got split winners this week. Last week's lyric quiz asked what theme sang about characters who were "full of hopes and full of fears, full of laughter, full of tears, full of dreams to last the years?"

Mike Aughney was the first to identify the song as "Seattle" ("the bluest skies you've ever seen, in Seattle") but it took Sheree Bohenek -- whose response to being named in this column was a simple "YIPPEE!" -- to correctly name the series.

"These were the lyrics to one of my fave shows, 'Here Come the Brides,' starring, of course, the one and only Bobby Sherman!" Sheree wrote, triggering the inevitable -- but catchy -- memory of "Julie, Julie, Julie, Do Ya Love Me?," a hit once upon a time long ago. (Hey, easy come and easy go).

Congrats to both Mike and Sheree on their grasp of tele-trivia. By the way, do you recall that the "Brides" theme was not sung by Sherman, but by that other heartthrob, Perry Como? He even had a chart hit with it.

Next: What theme pointed out that "people yakkety-yak a streak and waste your time of day?" Be the first to identify the theme -- which in this case is the same as the series title -- and we'll print your name. Be sure to spell your name and leave a daytime phone number.

JUST ONE PUNY PLANET?: As Arsenio Hall used to observe nightly, there are just some things that make you go "Huh?" Example: Channel 13, which, as we know, is "inside" everything, calls its segment of international headlines "News Inside the World."

If you don't mind my asking: As opposed to what?

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