People in the News for October 9, 1997

Thursday, Oct. 9, 1997 | 9:34 a.m.

It would take a significant pop culture tremor to dispel our woozy glumness at losing the Nobel Prize for Literature to some Italian playwright no one but Nobel judges have ever heard of. Fortunately, Ellen DeGeneres tiffing with ABC is that significant pop culture tremor. The celebrity lesbian -- celesbian? -- is threatening to quit the gay-themed "Ellen" after ABC's decision to give it an "adult content" warning. "How can I go forward?" DeGeneres asks. "This is blatant discrimination." But hardly surprising -- ABC is a subsidiary of Disney, now under attack from Southern Baptist fireflies buzzing over its live-and-let-live stance toward homosexuality. ABC has shod its clay feet in fancy talk about family and standards. "The promise we have made to our audience," says a network mouthpiece, "is to provide them with as much information ... yadda, yadda, yadda ... appropriate for their children." Yet, as DeGeneres notes, "Ellen" already sports a TV-14 rating. The second advisory smacks of CYA piling on. "This advisory is telling kids something's wrong with being gay." Network execs concede the show's future is in jeopardy. It's demise would not only hit DeGeneres in her chain-bound wallet, but ABC as well: "Ellen" is one of the few bright ratings spots among the dark matter on ABC's schedule.

Mind over body

Whether you're depressed by your poor showing in the Nobel Lit derby or bummed that an unfeeling television network is messing with your art, fitness guru Jake "Body by Jake" Steinfeld has a potent, life-changing message for you: Cheer up! "Success is in everyone's own mind," Steinfeld says. "Everyone's got one. It's just a matter of using it." That radical notion -- everybody's got a mind! -- is at the heart of "Power Living by Jake," his new book. Having squeezed as much coin as possible from body-image-obsessed yuppies, Jake is now touting lifestyle fitness. His book offers 11 steps to happiness and success. Take Lesson No. 4: Find a mentor who "pumps you up." "A lot of people have dreams. If they find someone who believes in them and buys into that dream, it works." Of course! By God, this Steinfeld may not be an obscure Italian playwright, but he's clearly our next Nobel laureate.

'Boffo' trip

It was like he was suddenly living Lesson No. 4! Comic strip artist Joe Martin, the pen man behind "Mr. Boffo," heard through his agent that Steven Spielberg was a boffo "Boffo" fan and wanted to see him next time he was in L.A. At last, he must have thought, a mentor who will pump me up, someone who will buy into my dream! Visions of a big-screen "Mr. Boffo" project filling his head, Martin hightailed it to Los Angeles. Alas, he forgot to shave and therefore found himself scraping at his chin with a razor in Spielberg's parking lot, with no shaving cream or water, leaving his face speckled with toilet-papered cuts. "I walk up to Spielberg's receptionist, point to the toilet paper and say, 'If I smile, you're going to see blood."' Luckily, he had no reason to smile -- Spielberg wasn't even there, and all he wanted was some "Mr. Boffo" T-shirts for his crew. It's not like losing the Nobel to an Italian playwright, but it must have hurt. How would Jake have handled it?

Compiled by Scott Dickensheets