Dial File: Holy hysterics! Protests prompt publicity for ‘Nothing Sacred’

Thursday, Oct. 9, 1997 | 9:50 a.m.

YOU love irony?

You've got to love the saga of "Nothing Sacred."

Here's a new fall show -- starring Kevin Anderson as unconventional priest Father Ray, who is often at odds with church dogma -- that, if left alone, would probably have already been crucified on the altar of the Almighty Ratings.

But -- despite numbers that only a miracle of Parting-the-Red-Sea proportions could inflate -- "Nothing Sacred" lives.

Its savior: The Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights.

The same Catholic League so offended by the program that it has orchestrated a highly visible campaign to wipe it off the air, urging numerous advertisers to pull their money out of the collection plate. And numerous sponsors -- Weight Watchers, Kmart and Red Lobster restaurants among them -- have in fact bailed out from the "Nothing Sacred" congregation.

(And yes, where there's moral outrage, there's always the Rev. Donald Wildmon -- the crusader who once slammed "The Golden Girls" for promoting senior sex -- whose American Family Association of Tupelo, Miss., is part of this blitz).

Here's the Rub I: "Nothing Sacred" was co-created by Bill Cain -- a Roman Catholic priest -- who, as reported by Time magazine, was writing under the pseudonym Paul Leland, but was prompted to reveal his priestly credentials once the boycott hit. He also labeled the attacks on the show's two Jewish executive producers -- who were described as "Godless" -- as anti-Semitic.

Even if they're undeterred, the protesters can't take all the backhanded credit if "Nothing Sacred" is cast out into the eternal damnation of cancellation. ABC -- which airs the show Thursdays at 8 p.m. in the vain search for viewers not fascinated by those cuddly cut-ups Ross and Rachel on "Friends" -- is the tele-deity that gave "Nothing Sacred" life, and can ultimately smite it.

Here's the Rub II: As of last Thursday, "Nothing Sacred" placed last in its time slot -- and 82nd out of 108 shows overall -- continuing a dismal three-episode arc dating back to its Sept. 18 debut. Under normal circumstances, wouldn't ABC have yanked "Nothing Sacred" by now in this Quick Draw McGraw world of cutthroat prime time TV?

Nothing certain, but "Nothing Sacred" would clearly have been in need of a priest for the last rites.

Instead, indignant protests and advertiser pull-outs prompt columns like these and controversy-hugging headlines. An ABC spokesman tells USA Today that the network will "let the show build" -- corporate-speak for "Damn, we've got word-of-mouth building on this baby -- Thank God!"

Can you say "The Last Temptation of Christ"?

"We've gotten maybe three or four calls -- all positive," says Marie Shea, program coordinator of local ABC affiliate KTNV Channel 13. "They've heard about the negative campaign, and because of that, they called to tell us they really love the show and hope it doesn't go off."

"Homicide" -- NBC's invisible masterpiece -- would kill for some "Nothing Sacred"-style buzz.

Here's the Rub III: For all the mindless violence and meaningless sex that soaks the schedule in a slew of empty-headed shows -- to the point of outraging the public and politicians and literally forcing a new ratings code this season -- here's a show under attack that's actually about something:

Issues of faith. Tough problems such as homelessness, alcoholism and abortion. All too-human dilemmas, as when Father Ray confronted his feelings for a former lover.

"I watched it with another priest friend, and we both liked it," the Rev. Norbert Joseph Maduzia Jr. told Gannett News Service. "I thought it was a very touching show. It shows problems that real priests deal with every day."

Additionally, the Los Angeles Catholic Archdiocese and the U.S. Catholic Bishop's communication committee have reportedly labeled the boycott as unrepresentative of most Catholic views and said the show's public discussion of Catholicism could be beneficial to the church.

Here's the Rub IV: "Nothing Sacred" -- trying to make religion relevant to viewers while mining its enormous dramatic potential -- is zapped with lightning bolts of righteous indignation.

Meanwhile, the WB network's "7th Heaven" -- a sickly sweet feather of a show about a minister and his family that draws its God-loving characters as homily-spouting stick figures -- gets a free pass.

You've got to love the irony.

THIS, THAT & THE OTHER: KSNE 106.5-FM ("Sunny 106.5") has added the syndicated, Seattle-based "Delilah After Dark" to its program lineup weeknights, 11 p.m.-2 a.m. ... The fourth of HBO's "Taxicab Confessions" specials -- subtitled "Cruisin'in Vegas: Sex, Love, Greed, Mischief" -- airs Saturday at 10 p.m. ... The Nashville Network (TNN) will be in town this weekend to cover the "PBR Bud Light Cup World Championships" of bull-riding at the MGM Grand Garden Arena. Look for the televised action Saturday from 7-9 p.m. and Sunday from 4-6:30 p.m. ...

A Las Vegas-themed edition of The Discovery Channel series "Travelers," which aired earlier this week, repeats Nov. 12 at 5 p.m. ... Shopaholic channel QVC will showcase LV's Liberace Museum in a Liberace tribute today at 4 p.m. ... UPN has pink-slipped the dating service sitcom "Head Over Heels" -- ranked 104th last week -- making it the season's first cancellation.

MAKE A WRITE TURN: Two of the more frustrating new shows this season are NBC's "Jenny" and CBS' "George & Leo" -- and not because of the stars.

Jenny McCarthy, the former Playboy Playmate and easy media target -- although no Lucy or Carol -- shows promise as a gifted TV comedienne, as evidenced by her hysterical guest shot last season on "Wings" and her antics on MTV's "Singled Out." Like Lucy and Carol, she's got a funny flair and a necessary fearlessness about looking silly in the service of comedy. As for "George & Leo," are there any better TV comics than "Hi, Bob!" Newhart and Judd "Taxi" Hirsch? Nope.

So what's the problem? Wretched writing. It's painful -- especially with such master showmen as Newhart and Hirsch -- to watch them slog through the slop they're handed to play, rife with grade-school-style one-liners, dumb situations and dullard supporting characters. If these guys can't make it funny, no one can.

But at least they've had great careers. If the "Jenny" writers don't emerge from their stupor, McCarthy may forever remain a fetching footnote in network history -- a sad waste of talent.

CROON A TUNE: Congrats to Rosa Cartwright, who was the first to tell us that those ditsy denizens of "F Troop" had the theme song that began: "The end of the Civil War was near when quite accidentally ..." To finish the lyric: "A hero who sneezed, abruptly seized retreat and reversed it to victory!" (That was Ken Berry's bumbling Captain Wilton Parmenter, whose inadvertent nasal discharge led a charge in the wrong direction -- toward the enemy).

Thank you, Rosa. Despite doubts about this arcane tele-reference, I knew some astute reader would get it. To quote Larry Storch's Corporal Agarn: "Who sez I'm dumb!"

Don't answer that.

This week's quiz? What spoken prelude to a theme asked: "Can two divorced men share an apartment without driving each other CRAZY?" Be the first to tell us, and you'll get mentioned here. Please spell your name and leave a daytime phone number.

STRUCK OUT: How popular is our national pastime? Baseball's divisional playoff games on Fox and NBC ranked 47th, 51st, 59th, 61st, 64th and 99th. Meanwhile, "Monday Night Football" placed 7th. As Hank Williams Jr. might holler: Are ya ready for some F-O-O-T-B-A-L-L?

A-T-T-A-C-K!: Love that Fox promo -- during the playoffs (I was one of the eight or so viewers) -- that growls: "From the network that brings you the most hard-hitting animal specials -- 'When Animals Attack 4!' " (a special so special that TV Guide's entire description amounts to: "One hour.")

That's for those turned off by those nerdy networks that air those wimpy "National Geographic" specials that actually educate us about the animal kingdom and attempt to lessen our fears -- instead of preying on them -- by increasing our knowledge.

Those powder puffs.

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