Cine-cism: Silent offenders in the dark

Thursday, Oct. 9, 1997 | 10:17 a.m.

* The Narrator: This person feels compelled to explain everything on the screen to their friend(s).

* The Parrot: This person has some sort of reflex that makes them repeat lines of dialogue that an actor or actress has just uttered.

* The Conversationalist: People who seem to think they have the magical ability to talk to the actors in the film or change the outcome of the movie just by speaking directly to the screen.

* The Random Laugher: An individual who laughs loudly at moments that, to the rest of humanity, have no humorous content.

* The Obsessive-Compulsive: A person who has a (loud) nervous habit that they feel the need to exercise all the time -- gum-snapping, knuckle-cracking, lip-smacking, etc.

* The Popcorn Popper: One of the most common offenders: An individual who needs to rummage LOUDLY through the popcorn container, then slowly chew the popcorn with their mouth open for full volume.

* The Soda Shaker: Another common offender. The Soda Shaker will swirl their cup of ice around and around and around and around ... usually followed by screeching the straw in and out of the top of the cup.

* The Wrap Artist: Here's a real annoying one: A person who has purchased candy with a cellophane wrapper. This person does not have the common courtesy to unwrap their candy before the film starts. Oh, no... They have to do it s-l-o-w-l-y and L-O-U-D-L-Y during the movie.

These are only a few of the typical offenders. Our advice to those who feel the need to make noise during the film:

SHUT UP!!!

Please?

Thank You -- The Management.

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Coming Attractions:

Next week on the Movie Guys: Get the rundown on the latest movie theatres to grace the Las Vegas landscape. Join us as we christen the new 12-screen multiplex at the Orleans hotel-casino with gooey buttered popcorn and sticky sodas. We'll also review "The Devil's Advocate," the new flick with first-class star power: Al Pacino and Keanu Reeves.