People in the news for May 12, 1997

Monday, May 12, 1997 | 11:59 a.m.

Memo madness

When most people think of Albania, they think, Isn't that where Vulcans come from? When those who follow the news think of Albania, they think, Civil unrest, people in peril, Americans airlifted! When Secretary of State Madeleine Albright thinks of Albania, she sends out a frantic SOS -- save our silverware! A recent memo from Albright to her people in the strife-ridden Albanian capital of Tirana urges them to "to take whatever means necessary to safeguard the sterling ..." Drop that diplomatic pouch, Smithers, and fill your pockets with spoons! "In the event of an Embassy closing," the memo adds, "consider shipping flatware out with the household effects of the ambassador ... " And don't forget the corncob holders, Smithers -- American cutlery in the wrong hands could be used against us.

Moore trouble

Dudley Moore and his wife are no Bob Hope and his wife. Unlike the Hopes' lengthy union, the Moores' has been a marital Albania -- civil unrest, people in peril. A month before their marriage, Dudley was arrested for hitting his fiancee, Nicole; they wed anyway. He filed for divorce last June, but it hasn't been finalized. Since then, Moore reportedly spent a few months hiding from Nicole in England after several months of saying all was well. Meanwhile, she tried shopping the tawdry tale of their crumbling marriage to Brit tabloids. Well, that's love! But this isn't: Nicole is now suing Dudley's diminutive butt for $5 million, claiming, among other things, that during their five years together, he hit her, spit in her face and choked her. "There will be no comment," Moore's publicist says. Clearly both parties need to be airlifted from this relationship. Someone save their flatware!

Compiled by Scott Dickensheets