People in the News for July 18, 1997

Friday, July 18, 1997 | 9:42 a.m.

Welcome to People in the News, where our prices are so low we can't advertise them -- they'd disrupt the business conditions of competitors. Trust us, this stuff is cheap! Take this low-cost item for a test spin: Twentieth Television, looking for a way to cut into Rosie O'Donnell's action, has developed a daytime show designed to appeal to women. As host, they've turned to perhaps the only person who can draw the perky female audience away from Rosie: Terry Bradshaw, ex Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback and sonic-boomy Fox football analyst. It seems the bored hausfraus of America desire nothing so much as an hour with a human pork rind in his own fashion-cooking-fitness show. For some reason, the words Mom's recipe for varmint! come to mind. And look for many exciting appearances by "celebrities associated with the Planet Hollywood restaurant chain." We get all tingly just thinking about it.

Kareeming out of control?

This will be a tall court order: A Los Angeles man is suing Kareem Abdul-Jabbar for allegedly attacking him during a recent parking dispute outside a Santa Monica yogurt shop. Jerry Cohen says he pointed at Jabbar to indicate he was waiting for a parking spot to open. The hoops great apparently interpreted the gesture as hostile; a man in the depths of a yogurt jag doesn't always think straight. Cohen's lawyer says, "Mr. Cohen remembers Jabbar saying something like 'Don't give me the finger!"' before Kareem came at him with the fury of Terry Bradshaw pursuing his dinner varmint. According to the plaintiff this was no plain tiff: Cohen (who's 5-foot-7) says Jabbar (7-foot-2) threw him against a shop window, then to the ground, then choked him. Cohen sued Thursday for an undisclosed amount. "He certainly wasn't giving him the finger," Cohen's lawyer says. "He was trying to be courteous." Jabbar's lawyer declined comment. The lesson here is clear -- celebrities weakened by yogurt deprivation make ideal lawsuit targets!

Party Bowles

There is undoubtedly a refrigerated shipment of Mrs. Bradshaw's best country-fried varmint on its way to Prince Charles' estate even as you read this. Tonight is a special occasion and he wants everything just right: It's a black-tie affair for the 50th birthday of the prince's gal pal, Camilla Parker Bowles. The evening will feature a five-course dinner and dancing under the stars. Opera star Dame Kiri Te Kanawa, who sang at the marriage of Charles and Diana, has been asked to perform, "this time to serenade the real love of his life," according to news reports. The price tag for this shindig: about $50,000, yogurt no doubt included. The party comes amid a growing acceptance of Parker Bowles by the notoriously fickle British public. One poll indicates that 68 percent approve of their future king marrying her. As for Diana's thoughts on the ascent of her onetime rival, don't misunderstand that gesture. She's probably just trying to be courteous.

Compiled by Scott Dickensheets