Columnist Bill Hanlon: Prepare kids mentally for new school year

Bill Hanlon

Saturday, Aug. 23, 1997 | 9:30 a.m.

HAVE YOU NOTICED it's getting darker earlier? That's a sure sign that the new school year is right around the corner. Many parents prepare their kids for this festive occasion by getting haircuts, buying new clothes and making sure there are plentiful supplies of paper, pencils and notebooks. That's the easy part.

Are they prepared mentally? Have you talked to your sons and daughters about the importance of receiving a good education? How important it is to graduate from high school with specific skills? It doesn't matter if the preparation they received is geared to continuing their education or entering the job market, today's preparation will determine tomorrow's achievements. It will affect their quality of life, the amount of money they earn, etc. If you have not had a heart-to-heart talk with your kids, then it's time to do so.

Talk to them about their future plans, ask them to describe the lifestyle they'd like to have. Would they like to live in a big house, drive late-model cars, take vacations and be able to afford to take their family out to dinner and a movie?

Talk to them about the cost of living. Discuss the costs involved with buying or renting a home, paying the water, gas, electric and phone bills. Don't forget to tally the amount you spend so they can buy lunch at school. Make mention that some people get sick or hurt so there is a clear need for car, health and life insurance.

After you have talked through some of these everyday expenses, ask them to research the expected income of their future occupation; will that job provide them an opportunity to fulfill their dreams?

Sales people often motivate themselves by hanging a picture on the wall reminding them of their goals. How are you motivating your own kids? If you have not taken the time to listen to what needs and wants they have, how can you guide them? By your helping them lay the groundwork, helping them plan, they will be more successful in reaching their goals. There's nothing wrong with them going online or to the library to get that type of information. After initial research, it might be wise to contact a person in that profession to see what the job is really about.

Little kids have goals, whether they are becoming a policeman, fireman, doctor, lawyer or mechanic. As a mom or dad, you have to help them design a plan that will help them achieve those goals. While in school, that plan will often result in a change of lifestyle from that of summer vacation.

With school back in session, it should be made very clear that the kids' primary responsibility is getting a good education. That means coming to school prepared to learn, not tired because of the previous night's lack of sleep. I have always believed that kids should not go out on school nights. It should also be made clear that the amount of television being watched should be curtailed. If I remember correctly, those were not among my most popular decisions.

I was pretty big on having the kids set their own study schedule. I then enforced their own plan to increase their probability of attaining their own goals. Before you OK their plan, you might want to touch base with their teachers to ensure the study schedule is realistic.

Many parents are concerned that teachers are teaching a new way or there is a "new" math that excludes them from being able to help their kids. Let me assure you, while teachers may be improving the way they deliver instruction, math has not changed and neither has the way kids learn.

When the kids were little, we had them see, touch, smell, hold and move things as a way of introducing new experiences. If we wanted them to remember something, we repeated it over and over. In school, that's called memorizing. How many times did you point to your eye and repeat "eye" before they said it, then associated the word with the eye itself?

You already taught your kids to take notes at home. Remember the time you came in and one of your young ones told you somebody called, but they couldn't remember who? Oh yes, from then on they had to write that information down -- note-taking.

If you want your kids to be successful, take an active role. Ask them what they learned each day at school. The answer better not be "nothing." Check their homework assignments, ask them questions from their notebook. Make sure their notebook is used for taking notes in class, not writing notes to their friends. Have them recite and verbalize their knowledge, just like you did with their spelling words in first and second grades.

High school students should not be working more than 20 hours per week. Their jobs should not entail closing up at 11 p.m. or midnight, either.

Be parents who do everything in their power to help their kids succeed in a country that allows them the opportunity to reach their dreams. Be actively involved by discussing education routinely. Don't wait till after the first report card.