Critical sass with The Movie Guys

Melissa Schorr

Tuesday, Aug. 12, 1997 | 9:31 a.m.

"Johnny Depp can park my car," declares Jeff Howard, voicing his highly-developed opinion on the choice of leading man in the upcoming film "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas." "

"Johnny Depp," contradicts his partner Dave Neil, "is highly underrated."

"Well, he deserves to be," Jeff replies firmly, voicing the final word on the subject.

After three years and more than 100 episodes of their popular college-produced movie critique show on radio, former UNLV students Jeff and Dave (as they're known, ages 30 and 26, respectively) seem to have their patter down pat.

Now, the two are trying to transform "The Movie Show," a sort of low-budget "Wayne's World" of film reviewing, into a national commercial conglomerate conquering all forms of media.

They've already worked their way into two unpaid weekend slots on KVBC's radio station (105.1-FM), where their live show, "Quiet on the Set," airs calls from listeners hoping to win free movie passes and Dave's mom wishing him a Happy Birthday.

They are currently in negotiations with KVVU-TV 5, the local Fox network, to pick up their production costs and continue airing their late night Friday show -- which has already aired several times and is renameed "The Movie Guys" -- this fall.

They are penning "Movie Guy" synopses for Scope magazine and plan to have a website up on the Internet by September.

They are also wooing various sponsors, such as Saturn, Hollywood Video, Boulder Station, Act III Theaters, United Artists, and naturally, Planet Hollywood -- where they were chowing down on a recent afternoon.

This glittery association comes with one caveat: they can't bash their celebrity benefactors: Demi, Bruce, Arnold or Sly.

"We can criticize their performance, though," explains Jeff. "Anyway," he says, resigned to the brave new world of media synergy, "I can think of stars that deserve bashing more than they do."

Cut-rate critics

Both consider themselves Las Vegas natives, both are the "babies" of their families, and, as Jeff describes himself, "the black sheep of the family, the loser without a job, in school until I'm 30."

That's where the similarity ends.

Jeff is the master impersonator, "the walking, talking film encyclopedia," the stocky, impassioned jokester; Dave is the "voice of reason," the tall, skinny, laid-back straight man.

Yes, the resemblance is intentional.

"We've been called the poor man's Siskel and Ebert," Jeff acknowledges. "I'll take that. I have tremendous respect for Roger Ebert. He's one of my heroes, my idols."

"And Siskel?" prompts Dave, the ever-ready straight man.

"Is there someone else with him?" asks Jeff facetiously, feigning ignorance. "I don't like Siskel," he admits.

Budding taste-makers

The show started at UNLV as "The Movie Show," originated by former UNLV professor Frank Barnas, and cast with various film students along the way, including Boddy Scallion, who now serves as executive producer at Quantum Media Group, which was formed to produce and market the show.

Dave, a '96 graduate, inherited the seat, and Jeff, a '97 graduate, auditioned and won the spot in January of '95.

But no one expected the pair to take the show and run with it.

"I thought they'd be good, I didn't realize four years later they'd still be doing it," says film professor Francisco Menendez. "But it was a perfect fit. It was strange how their opposite personalities worked for them."

It was their goofy willingness to do anything that garnered them the title of the "No. 1 rated show on University Network," a network of college TV stations, and also broadcast in Las Vegas on Channel 4, which is Prime Cable's UNLV-TV.

"One year, we created a drive-in movie theater set," recalls Dave.

"Our Halloween shows were always good," adds Jeff.

"And Octoberfest," says Dave.

"We were in lederhosen," Jeff explains.

The school originally protested their attempts to usurp the show's name and take it commercial, but, like everyone else in their way so far, has relented. It will start from scratch next year with a new movie review show in a roundtable format.

"These guys are a publicity machine. They are go-getters," says Menendez. "But even though they seem like self-promoting madmen, they love movies. They eat and breathe film.

"But the question they will have to answer," he continues, "is 'Why will people want two twentysomethings reviewing films?' "

When posed the question, both, of course, have a ready-made reply. "We appeal to the next generation," argues Dave.

"We're movie reviewers for the 21st century -- that's our slogan," says Jeff.

"What Siskel and Ebert did for Chicago is what we'd like to do for Vegas," adds Dave. "They also started at the bottom of the barrel."

In fact, the Movie Guys boast that they outpredicted their role models in a show about this year's Oscars.

And with help from Chicago's Film Critic's society, the two are slowly creating a Las Vegas Film Critics' Society for the five -- count 'em, five -- credentialed critics in town.

But with their film study background -- both double-majored in film and communication -- the two consider themselves more film connoisseurs and future directors than mere, ahem, journalists.

For one thing, the two disdain traditional note-taking. "I've tried bringing in a light pen," says Dave, "but I absolutely hated it."

"I see other critics scribbling," agrees Jeff. "I'm like, 'What? You can't remember what you just saw?' In film school, I spent so many semesters seeing films and then talking about them, I don't need to take notes. I can see things and remember."

They itemize their film credentials. "We're award-winning film makers," says Jeff, referring to a student film, 'Mission Impossible: the Making of a Monster Movie,' a behind-the-scenes documentary of a fellow student film, which won them awards in British and national film competitions.

"We've studied film theory, film rhetoric, filmmaking." says Dave.

"We read Entertainment Weekly, watch E!, 'Entertainment Tonight' -- everything," says Jeff.

On the various screens around the restaurant, a clip from "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" appears, and Jeff instinctively begins singing along with the Oompa Loompas: "What do you get when you guzzle down sweets? Eating as much as an elephant eats?"

Soon, he is belting out Ariel's song from "The Little Mermaid": "Up where they walk, up where they run, up where they stay all day in the sun..."

"Not only does he know the words, he knows all the parts and the voices," Dave notes matter-of-factly.

Stacked in a spare room in his apartment, Jeff has a collection of thousands of laser discs, a remnant of his days owning a chain of video stores, which he sold before going back to school.

"It's a horrible business," he says, "no money it it."

There was one benefit: every time he bought a copy for the store, he ordered one for himself.

When asked to describe his catalogue system, he taps his head in reply.

"I want to sit down with him on a weekend, and alphabetize them, but he doesn't want to do it," says Dave.

"I know where they are," claims Jeff.

"No, he doesn't," Dave corrects.

"I know what I have," Jeff amends.

"That's different."

Flick schtick

The Movie Guys favor the old-fashioned, letter grading system that has rewarded and terrorized students for years.

"We use grades, versus stars or bowties," explains Jeff. As to the legendary T'humbs-up' of Siskel and Ebert? "What does that mean?" he asks derisively. "I've heard them bash it and still give it a thumbs up. Everyone knows what A, B, C, D, and F means."

Now, they are planning to add an incomplete as well.

"Jeff has walked out [on movies]," Dave says.

"I'm not going to waste my time anymore," Jeff explains. "I walked out on "Buddy," a movie about an eccentric socialite teaching chimps at the turn of the century. At the fourth scene, where they're all dressed up in clothing at the dinner table? I'm outta there."

"We walked out of 'Destiny Turns on the Radio,' adds Dave.

"I gave that a half-hour," says Jeff.

"And 'High School High.' "

"People say it's a great job," explains Jeff. "But I get sick of movies, sometimes I just don't want to go."

"For every great movie, there's 10 schlock films," Dave adds.

So, naturally, when not on the job, they...

"I was watching 'The Magnificent Seven' last night," Jeff admits.

"I was watching 'Unforgiven' over the weekend," says Dave.

Pet peeves

"Lately," Jeff sighs, "I've had extremely horrible movie experiences -- people are being rude, chomping on food or talking,"

"Wrappers, shuffling ice in the drink to get the last drop," says Dave.

"We're going to do a show on theater etiquette," threatens Jeff.

Las Vegans, consider yourselves warned.

The other thing that drives them crazy is lack of continuity -- especially when it comes to their hometown.

"The chase scene in 'Con Air,' where they're driving under this three- mile tunnel under Freemont Street? Where is this tunnel in Vegas?" Dave demands. "So yeah, we take it a little personal."

"They think no one will notice," says Jeff. "Why is that so hard? I'm a Vegas native and I'm proud of Vegas, so I get mad."

On the other hand, catching mistakes is a favorite pastime.

"We love to see mistakes," Jeff says gleefully.

His favorite slip-up is the scene from "North by Northwest" at Mount Rushmore. A small boy in the background covers his ears early, in anticipation of a gun shot.

Dave's is the scene in "Raiders of the Lost Ark," where the shadow of a "heavy" boulder can be seen bouncing away.

"Someone wearing a watch before they were invented," adds Dave. "Or that scene in 'Star Wars,' where Mark Hamill calls out 'Carrie' (Fisher) instead of 'Leia.' "

Personal preferences

It's time for a Movie Guys personal quiz:

Favorite movie of all time?

Jeff: " 'Jaws.' It's the best edited, best music, writing, every element comes together."

Dave: " 'Alien' and 'Blade Runner.' "

Best movie ever made?

Jeff: " 'Lawrence of Arabia.' There's a couple of films that are so close, and I change it every couple of years. But for the last couple, it's been 'Lawrence.' "

Dave: " 'Schindler's List' " and 'Citizen Kane.' "

Jeff: "I wouldn't choose a contemporary film. It has to have stood the test of time. I am an incredible fan of black and white," he expands, sounding every bit the film critic. "Film noir. William Holden. Dana Andrews. No one cares, people are like, 'Ugh, black and white, get that off.' I'm like, uh," he says, grabbing a knife and stabbing an imaginary misguided color film fan.

Worst movie ever made?

Jeff: "Now that is contemporary. Tom Arnold in 'The Stupids.' I fell asleep, literally, I was so bored. This year, 'McHale's Navy.' ( also with Mr. Arnold). And 'Showgirls.' "

Dave: "You just took the whole wind out of my sails. 'Showgirls,' 'Showgirls,' 'Showgirls.' "

What film do you want to see made?

Jeff: (without hesitation) The life of Walt Disney. A docudrama, I'd love to do that myself.

Dave: I'm glad to see it is being done, the story of Orsen Welles, the fight between him and (William Randolph) Hearst to make 'Citizen Kane,' it's titled 'RKO 182.' "

What should Hollywood be doing more of?

Jeff: "Fantasy films. I want children's musical fantasies back. Like 'Willy Wonka' or 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.' "

"Every time they try it, it fails," Dave points out.

"Well, that's what I want to see," Jeff says stubbornly.

So what movies are the Movie Guys eagerly anticipating?

" 'Starship Troopers,' " says Jeff.

" 'Alien 4,' " says Dave, predictably. " 'Titanic.' "

" 'Titantic,' " agrees Jeff, "and 'Flubber'! "

" 'Flubber'? " laughs Dave mockingly.

"He hates all kids films," Jeff grumbles. "I can't mention anything cute, or he gets all upset. I can't say 'Flubber'? " he says, his voice rising. "I can't look forward to 'Flubber'? "

"He takes it soooo personally," Dave sighs.

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