Ron and Joe Go to White Castle (Day 2)

By Ron Kantowski

Tuesday, June 2, 2009 | 12:47 p.m.

A lot of people (at least in Maxwell Smart terms) have been calling and E-mailing, wanting to know how my Midwestern vacation -- a k a "Ron and Joe Go to White Castle" -- turned out.

(Joe is my brother-in-law from Kansas. He did the driving while I made silly home movies.)

So shine up your white patent leather Clark Griswolds and I'll take you along for the ride:

DAY TWO

St. Louis to Indianapolis (with a side trip to a log cabin near Spencer, Ind.)

When I was of party age, I used to spend the night before the Indianapolis 500 walking around the track, because it was safer than walking around downtown. That was when most of the storefronts had cages over the windows, like the liquor stories in Gary, or, if you're from the West Coast, Long Beach.

Gradually, they began to clean up downtown Indy. They even turned the old Union Station depot into a shopping mall. But besides the St. Elmo Steak House, where you might find Rick Mears passing on the high side of a 24-oz. bone-in KC strip, downtown Indy in 1995 still mostly consisted of old taverns with brick walls and warehouses with temporary liquor licenses that expired when the checkered flag fell.

Now, unfortunately, Union Station is dead. Boarded up like an old Gurney Eagle. There's talk about turning it into a casino (sheesh!). But you should see the rest of downtown. The Circle Centre Mall opened since the last time I went to the "500" and there are now trendy hotels and restaurants and nightclubs wherever you turn on North Meridian St. The trees around Monument Circle even have twinkle lights in them, for cryin' out loud.

We started the evening at Harry and Izzy's, the sister property to St. Elmo, where they had some great old photos of the Speedway hanging on the wall. But there was a lot of mahogany in there, and we were wearing shorts.

I asked my old pal Tom, the publicist for the Dreyer & Reinbold race team which had four cars in this year's race, if Ike & Jonesy's on Jackson St. somehow managed to survive the Downtown Renaissance.

Ike & Jonesy's was an an old sixties joint where race fans danced the night before the "500" away in short pants, because they didn't have air conditioning. Even cooler, in a manner of speaking, were the furnishings. The bar was a cross between your grandma's kitchen and Arnold's Restaurant in "Happy Days."

Tom said Ike and Jonesy's had somehow survived Urban Renewal. Less than 15 minutes later, we were sitting around an old formica tabletop, eating big fat cheeseburgers and big fat french fries as a big fat crowd began to form around the DJ booth. It was like Al Unser Sr. had never retired.

There was a crash, as if Kevin Cogan had gone a little high in Turn 4.

A sunburned guy who looked as if he hadn't showered since Bump Day had dropped a full Bud Light right in front of the DJ booth. A river of beer and broken glass was headed our way.

Man, was it good to be back.

DAY TWO RECAP:

--- Distance: 231 miles.

--- Memorable line: "You're (kidding) me." -- My reaction when Molly, the Miller Lite girl from Columbus, Ohio, told me she might be moving to Las Vegas to pursue an accounting job with the UFC -- and not some job where she could stroll around The Octagon in a skin-tight Miller Lite dress.

--- White Castles: Bloomington, Greenwood, Beech Grove, Plainfield, Martinsville and 33 in Indianapolis, one for every driver in the "500."

--- Lodging: La Quinta Inn, four miles from the airport, four miles from the speedway, three guys sharing a room. No rollaway beds. Two short straws.

--- Best beer: Corona with a lime, a perfect companion to the Dagwood Bumstead-sized sandwiches we made at Joe's sister's place near Bloomington.

--- You should have seen: The log cabin in which Joe's sister Gaye and husband Ron live. You had to take three county roads and a gravel road to get there -- and they don't have gravel roads in Indiana.

--- Playing in the CD deck: "In the Summertime" by Mungo Jerry.

--- Sports event du jour: None. You need a day off to prepare for the Indy 500. It's in the rulebook.

--- Next stop: Gasoline Alley.