Las Vegas Sun

March 29, 2024

George Costanza: Master of his (poker) domain

NOW

At last report, Jason Alexander of "Seinfeld" fame was holding his own at the World Series of Poker.

But that was before the guys in the hoodies and dark sunglasses starting getting serious.

Here are 10 reasons why George probably won't make it to Festivus time at the WSOP:

--- Although it's sorta cute when you first hear it, Jennifer Tilly's high-pitched voice eventually becomes distracting.

--- River card hidden by Eric the Clown's big shoe.

--- Other players at the table weren't really buying the marine biologist story.

--- Crumbs from Teddy KGB's Oreos kept falling on the flop.

--- Preoccupied by possibility of receiving career-altering phone call from Vandelay Industries.

--- Sensing the slightest human suffering is one thing, sensing the guy sitting next to you is holding pocket aces is another.

--- A deuce and a four and a six and a nine and a jack? That's a show.

--- Love! Valor! and Compassion! no match for a queen on fifth street.

--- Can you believe they gave that Moneymaker guy the best parking spot?

--- Having sex on the poker table with the cocktail waitress -- was that wrong?

THEN

"If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you." --- Paul Newman

"Tough luck, Lonnehan. But that's what you get for playing with your head up your a--!" --- Paul Newman (as Henry Gondorff in "The Sting.")

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