Nails to the wall — Lenny Dykstra not as savvy as HBO said he was

By Ron Kantowski

Thursday, July 9, 2009 | 2:37 p.m.

NOW

Lenny and the jets.

And to think I almost believed it.

In a 2008 story that aired on HBO's "Real Sports," the stick-and-ball version of "60 Minutes," Lenny Dykstra was portrayed as a savvy jet-setting tycoon worth millions and millions of dollars.

Lenny Dykstra? Really? Wasn't he the guy who played center field for the Mets and Phillies with tobacco juice splattered on the front of his jersey and made Yogi Berra sound like a Harvard lawyer?

On Wednesday, Dykstra filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. He has assets of $50,000 and owes around $50 million.

You can't believe everything you see on TV, even if it is HBO.

(By the way, in keeping with my theory that at some point, Las Vegas will be blamed for everything in the world that goes bad, Dykstra was sued after bouncing a check for $7,000 for a flight from here to Van Nuys, Calif. "That's my (effin') ashtray money," Nails roared.)

I will never forget in the HBO piece where Dykstra, growing impatient while waiting for his laptop computer to boot, gets mad and tosses it onto a pile with about 30 other laptops in the trunk of his car that took too long to boot.

Dykstra's first business venture outside of baseball was owning and mismanaging a car wash.

And this is the guy who was going to take down Wall Street with a stock portfolio?

Anyway, I'm glad the charade is over. This will allow Dykstra to get on with his true calling in life, managing a Rookie League team in the Pioneer League.

THEN

"They folded like Mitch Williams in the ninth." --- Lenny Dykstra, after settling one the many lawsuits levied against him out of court.