By Ron Kantowski

Published Wednesday, July 16, 2008 | 3:52 p.m.

Updated Tuesday, Oct. 28, 2008 | 10:15 a.m.

NOW:

Tim McCarver used to be a catcher, which means he knows a lot more about baseball than I do. So he must have been nodding off in the 10th or 11th or 12th inning of Tuesday night's All-Star Game when the American League put a man on second with nobody out, and he said the National League was playing the outfield deep because if one of the Americans hit the ball over their heads (thus negating a throw to home plate) the game would be over, anyway.

What if the ball was hit in the air?

I suppose the game could have ended had the American League runner tagged up on a deep fly ball and raced all the way home from second base, but The Flash wasn't running (although that certainly would have made extra innings more interesting). I think Dioner Navarro was.

So it's official: I don't know as much about baseball as Tim McCarver. Or the majority of the nation's baseball writers. They were calling last night's exhibition the greatest All-Star Game of them all. Even better than the one in the Kingdome where Morganna The Kissing Bandit ran onto the field (sort of) and kissed George Brett.

Note to the majority of the nation's baseball writers: The greatest game in All-Star Game history does not end on a walk-off sacrifice fly. It should end with a home run into the bullpen. Or, better yet, off a light standard. Or even a cheesy one off the foul pole, like the one Lee Mazzilli hit off Jim Kern in '79 (although that one would have been better in the ninth inning, instead of the eighth).

It should not end with a play on which the hitter is not charged with an official at-bat. It should end with Ted Williams running around the bases after hitting a three-run homer, like he did in '41.

----- And speaking of that, Joe Buck referenced Teddy Ballgame's three-run shot off Claude Passeau, the ex-Cub. (It was a 15-inning game, he referenced everything.) Only he called it a "walk-off" home run. There were no "walk-off" home runs in 1941. There were only game-ending home runs. I don't care what ESPN says -- that's still the best name for it.

----- The Baseball Gods are evil. Why else would the ball keep going to Dan Uggla, whose brutal All-Star performance made Ralph Branca's pitch to Bobby Thomson look like a minor oversight, as if there was a magnet in his glove -- er, between his legs?

----- Somebody needs to give Jeanne Zelasko one of those double-knit Pirates jerseys from the 1970s. Apparently, her blouse didn't come with buttons.

----- But the most embarrassing thing about the game were the empty seats. By the 10th inning, there were huge patches of blue -- seats with nobody in them -- all over the place. If this were Tropicana Field, you could understand it. But this was Yankee Stadium, for cryin' out loud. A baseball cathedral, not some sandlot behind the foundry. The House That Ruth Built became The House That Trump Left. In the sixth inning. Those people with the Gold Cards who bought the tickets should be ashamed of themselves. Somebody should call that Miller High Life guy and demand an investigation.

----- Thirty-two players on either side, and not a pitcher left at the end. That had to be the worst example of managing something since somebody handed Mike Tyson a check for a million dollars.

----- Solution: Next year, reserve a spot on the All-Star rosters for mop-up pitchers. Somebody who wouldn't mind throwing six innings of glorified batting practice, should the need arise. Like Jon Lieber. Or "El Duque" when he was with the White Sox. Or Jason Schmidt, if he ever makes it back to The Show.

----- Better yet: Celebrity pitchers could finish the game. Kevin Costner for the National League, Billy Crystal for the American.

----- Commissioner Bud Selig, fearing a repeat of the 2002 All-Star Game tie, seemed to be getting ill with every passing inning. I wanted the game to go 25 innings, to see if he would commit hari-kari -- or at least Harry Caray -- by jumping from the upper deck.

THEN:

Were you still paying attention in the 15th inning when they showed Tony Perez hitting a ... game-ending ... homer to end the 1967 All-Star Game?

There were two things that stood out about that clip.

The first is that there actually were bleachers, instead of giant rocks and a water feature, beyond the left-field wall at Anaheim Stadium.

The second is that they were still full after 15 innings.