Carrot Top recalls flight of fancy with Jay Leno and mulls ditching the props

By John Katsilometes

Saturday, March 5, 2011 | 12:08 p.m.

When Carrot Top asks a friend for a lift, the friend is often a nationally famous entertainer, and the lift might be a multimillion-dollar jet.

During an appearance recorded for Friday’s episode of “Kats With the Dish” (the hourlong interview show I host with Tricia McCrone on Fridays at 6 p.m. on KUNV 91.5-FM), Scott Thompson, the man who inhabits the persona of Carrot Top, spoke of a recent favor he jokingly asked of Jay Leno.

“The last time I was on his show, I was getting makeup put on, and he comes into the room. He’s always real nice and says, ‘Hey, Carrot Top, what’s going on?’ ” the Topper recalled. “I said, ‘I’m going to take your jet back to Vegas tonight, if that’s OK with you.” Leno responded, “Yeah, OK, sure. You can take my jet.”

The prop comic was startled. “I said, “I’m just kidding, but after the show, one of his assistants comes back to me and wants information about where to go to meet the jet,” Topper said. “And I’m going, ‘I was just kidding about the jet. But we really get to take his jet?’ ”

Leno was planning to head back to Vegas anyway, for a show at The Mirage. “So I gave him my Southwest ticket and $10 for gas when we landed,” Carrot Top said. “We get on, and he sleeps the whole way, until we’re about to land. It’s really, really windy, and I’m holding on like a little girl because I hate to fly anyway, and he looks over at me and says, ‘You know, Carrot Top, if this jet crashes, the headlines are going to be, ‘Jay Leno Crashes With Unknown.’

“I said, ‘Hey, you bastard! I was just on your show! If I was on Letterman, they would know me!”

Carrot Top continues to regularly fill Atrium Showroom at Luxor. He talked of his five years at the hotel and hearkened to his early days as a comic during his session, which is embedded in this column. Joining us in the studio was New Kids on the Block member Joey McIntyre, headlining at the Palms in "One Too Many at Midnight" tonight and March 12:

On his famously red curly mane: I had a dream I was going bald last night. I’m paranoid about my hair because I don’t want to go bald. Not that I am, because I have so much hair, it’s ridiculous, but I went to this hair doctor, to get a follicle check, or whatever you call it, and he goes, “Is this a joke?” I asked, “Do I need Propecia or anything?”

But the doctor who is doing the examination is completely bald. And that’s the joke. It’s like going to a fat trainer. He said, “You have no idea who freaks out when they see me.” It’s like going to a dermatologist who has zits all over his face. … Oh, and my dentist, by the way, is toothless.

On how women respond to his appearance: I’m odd. If you have long hair, you get a little bit more credit. “Hey look, long hair, he’s a rock star.” But it’s a love-hate thing. There are two responses. It’s like, “You’re really hot.” Or, “Are you kidding me? What-th?” It’s never down the middle.

On visiting Vince Neil in Clark County Detention Center when Neil was serving his sentence for a DUI charge: I went for a conjugal. But it’s the real deal. You think, it’s only a detention center, but it is a real jail. In jail, I would not do too good. … The thing about jail is, the people in jail, in most cases, are bad seeds. But the people who are visiting them are bad seeds, too, so you’re in a prison waiting to meet prisoners. There are a lotta shady people in there. I had to go down to a little cubicle, then I got on a phone, and I should have brought sani-wipes. The whole thing is just one big scare fest. We’re talking to him, and it’s like your Skype-ing, in a sense. You get 20 minutes, and we lost 13 minutes because of a bad connection. I’m like, ‘Pay your cable bill!’

On his earliest gigs as a comic: Some of my first gigs were at strip clubs. When the girls were changing or on a break or doing whatever they did, they’d bring out the comics. I’d do 10 minutes, and it was horrible. They were there to see women, and I come out with a box full of crap. I said, ‘I don’t want to see this, either. I want to see the girls, too. So just play along, and we’ll get out early.” This was an old place, too. They had wooden poles.

On his father, who was a NASA engineer: He worked on the space shuttle program and also trained the astronauts to drive the lunar module. So it was like, after they said, “Houston, we have a problem!” they’d say, “Larry!? Who built this!?”

On the idea of shedding props and doing a show without using any props: I’ve always wanted to do a segment on a talk show. Jay Leno has been such a good friend, and if he would allow me, I’d have to get it all together, but I’d like to go on ‘The Tonight Show’ and do a set with no props. Or come out with a trunk and never touch it. Or come out with a clear trunk with nothing in it. I’d love to see people react to seeing me do stand-up.

On his first prop: I had a Neighborhood Crime Watch sign in my dorm wall in college. People would come in and laugh at it. ‘Where did you get it?’ ‘I took it. How good is their Neighborhood Crime Watch if they can’t even watch their sign?’ That was the beginning of it, and the woman who was booking me said, “That sign bit is brilliant. You should do more of that.” So I started stealing more signs.

On being the butt of jokes: I had this card, “Pinatas We’d Like to See,” and there was Bill Clinton, a couple of others, and a little picture of me with a noose around my neck. I was like, “This pisses me -- wait, it’s a Hallmark card?” It’s like they are paying homage to me.

On updating his material, even though he could likely fill the 330-seat Atrium Showroom by performing the same act each night: I think that’s where it comes down to the artist, or whatever I am. You think of the audience, and I want to keep it fresh for them, and for myself. You want to grow as an artist. The No. 1 comment I get from audience members, after, “Why did I pay for this? Why didn’t I get comped?” is how fresh it is. I’m always updating it, like with Charlie Sheen stuff now, or Lady Gaga with the egg (from her appearance on the Grammy Awards telecast) was in that day.

I think it’s important for me, for my crew and for the audience to bring something new to each show. I have friends who have done the same act, word for word for word, for 20 years. I have a problem with that. I think the audience should see something new in each show.

Follow John Katsilometes on Twitter at twitter.com/JohnnyKats. Also, follow Kats With the Dish at twitter.com/KatsWithTheDish.