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April 16, 2014

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Ice Ice Billy

Imagine Mahna Mahna forcing peace

The Muppet Movie is now playing in theaters. And in a world full of conflict, thank goodness for that.

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Manchester United robs the cradle

In the 1980s then Indiana University basketball coach Bob Knight watched 8th grader Damon Bailey play and called him a “hot prospect,” which all but cemented Bailey’s fate as an Indiana Hoosier.

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Tony Stewart’s title says a lot about a lot

There are ways to win championships, and there are amazing ways to win championships. Tony Stewart’s push to the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series championship was, in the least, astonishing. He made the post-season without having won a race. Then he won five of the last ten races. In Homestead’s finale, he won the final race after passing a total of 118 cars while coming from the back twice.

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That’s (not) the dumbest thing ever said

Major League Baseball’s spring training had broken and the class-A Kinston Indians greeted their new team and new manager to its small town in eastern North Carolina.

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The sad tale of Dolly the Sheep

This week’s VEGAS INC magazine cover features three Las Vegas Wranglers staff members embodying several of the Wranglers’ promotions and publicity stunts pulled over the years.

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Putting it all on red

A massive, 1,300-foot asteroid intersected the moon’s path of orbit of Earth, twice, as it passed by our world Tuesday, just in time for a six-ton U.S. satellite to fall from our sky late tonight or early Saturday.

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I mustache you a question

The word mustache looks and sounds as if it has French roots, and indeed it does. To get to the French spelling, as always, just insert an extra vowel someplace within the word, and, “voilà.”

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It’s not a bridge too far

The joke in my hometown of Louisville is that Kentuckians built a bridge over the Ohio River to Indiana so there would be shade when we swam across. Funny punch line, flawed premise. The Ohio River is far too wide and rough to risk a swim to New Albany. Every Kentuckian knows that.

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World population is a numbers game

Seven billion looks like this: 7,000,000,000.

It’s a big number, to be sure. But it lacks a certain marketing pizazz. It’s not hooky enough to really catch on. It’s cumbersome and one of the few things it rhymes with is “million”, which is 6,999,000,000 steps backwards. It’s not even good for a decent jingle, even if the jingle is for a bank.

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