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April 19, 2014

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Ice Ice Billy

Imagine Mahna Mahna forcing peace

The Muppet Movie is now playing in theaters. And in a world full of conflict, thank goodness for that.

You see, we have a world full of people who are not very good at conflict. One would hope that if as a global community we were good at conflict, there would be less conflict. The notion is akin to the paradox that great warriors avoid war.

We have plenty of grenades in conflict that are designed to destroy; words, actions and – well – actual grenades. What our world lacks is a true conflict-stopping weapon. If we did, we could imagine all the people living life in peace.

Mahna-Mahna. Do dooo, tee do-do.

And so here it is, thanks to the Muppets’ 1969 annexing of a nonsensical Piero Umiliani number, this little ditty could become a universal weapon of peace. Imagine.

YOUR SPOUSE: “Honey you left wet clothes in the washer again.”

YOU: “Mahna mahna.”

As a conflict ending retort it’s better than “touché!” as it invites a sing along, and sounds far less pretentious. Once it catches on, it could prompt massive sing-alongs at hockey games.

STOCKTON THUNDER HOCKEY PLAYER: “We’re gonna fight, eh?”

LAS VEGAS WRANGLERS PLAYER ADAM HUXLEY: “Mahna mahna.”

LAS VEGAS WRANGLERS BENCH: “Do dooo, tee do-do.”

EVERYBODY: “Mahna mahna…”

And so it grows and swells until Mahna mahna spills into the streets of Las Vegas, onto airplanes at McCarran, and into the world.

MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD: “Iran has a right to our nuclear programs.”

THE WORLD: “Mahna mahna.”

MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD: “Do dooo, tee do-do.”

Perhaps it’s a bad idea and you may say I’m a dreamer. But I’m not the only one.

It doesn’t even need to be sung, and one doesn’t have to do the gravelly voice thing. It can be spoken. It can be written as a formal response to the HOA dirty windows complaint. Imagine something more powerful than your HOA singing it as they read it?

“Mahna mahna.”

You might have even sung that just now. If not, I hope someday you’ll join us and the world will live as one.

YOU: “This blog wasted my time.”

ME: “Mahna-mahna. Do doo tee do-do, tee do-do, tee do do, tee do do do-do-do.”

Imagine.

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