Empathy is the Key to Creating a Positive Experience

Monday, Sept. 21, 2009 | 10:30 a.m.

To effectively deliver or create the appropriate experience for your clients, friends and co-workers, one must become proficient in developing empathy. I’ve previously written about creating the “right” customer experience for your clients as one of the keys to long-term business viability and customer satisfaction. I’ve also recently written about the need to unlock our right brain, including learning how to develop empathy for a client and his or her situation.

I had a recent experience that illustrated the point that it does indeed take empathic listening and understanding to create the appropriate experience. My mother was recently diagnosed with lung cancer after a long bout of pneumonia. This experience brought back the memory of being in a similar position with my father 13 years ago.

In 1996, my father went to the hospital with severe pain in the back of his neck. He was a sheet metal worker all his life, so we all assumed this particular pain was related to all the physical work he’d done over many years. After a few days of testing, we still did not know what was wrong with him. His personal physician told us that he was going to bring in a specialist. It tuned out that the specialist to which he was referring was an oncologist. The oncologist came to visit my father at 11 that night, woke him up and informed him matter-of-factly that he had inoperable, stage IV cancer and that he had about six months to live. According to my father, there was no compassion in the oncologist’s delivery, only facts.

It would have been nice if he would have scheduled an appointment with my dad so that he could have had his family with him to receive the news together and comfort him. This message of death was passed along to my father late at night when he was by himself. The oncologist had little concern for my father, but he did his job, delivered his message and left.

Compare this experience with my mother’s. During her hospital stay, she was told by her pulmonologist that she may have cancer, but that the oncologist wanted to run a few more tests and then meet my mother in the office to discuss the diagnosis once she was feeling better.

I took my mother to the Nevada Cancer Institute. Upon arrival, we were greeted by a volunteer who made us feel comfortable. The facility did not feel clinical; it felt like the lobby of a nice hotel. Even the offices and exam rooms were well-appointed and very comfortable. The staff was friendly and supportive.

While the message received from the doctor wasn’t exactly the same as the one my father received (my mother has treatment options), the doctor first got to know my mother through personal questions and light conversation. She treated my mother with respect, dignity and compassion -- exactly as we all hope to be treated. My mother and I agreed that this was a pleasant experience, especially since we didn’t really want to be there at all.

Clients expect the same from us. They expect to be treated with respect. They expect to be treated with courtesy. They expect us to really understand who they are and what they need, whether it is an issue of life or death. Developing empathy for clients and clearly understanding the issues for which they need help will allow you to create the appropriate client experience for them.

Empathy is the key to unlocking the door to client satisfaction.

Until next time …

Craig